Guardians of the Gates of Madness

A Care Givers Company Tale

By E. E. Nalley

21 July 2004

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Chapter One

A Disturbing Offer

June 19^th, 2104, that’s the day my world fell apart.

It was my graduation day from the University of Tokyo.  It was supposed to be the apex of my admittedly short life.  I had studied hard, taken extra classes and credit.  I’d made a point to be active in all the right clubs and had eschewed the normal college high jinks.  You see, I was on a mission. 

Very early in my life I had decided I was going to make my living in space.

Why would I want to, you ask?  Oh it’s very simple when you think about it.  Look around you, there are almost twenty five billion people on planet Earth.  There are times I think most of them live in Tokyo.  I didn’t want to spend my life on one of the farms slaving away trying to feed everyone.  And with my slight build, I wasn’t going to attract one of the even rarer single women unless there was something extra ordinary about me and what I did.

Yes I know the gender ratios are even worse in space, but there are just scads of money to be made there.  I knew with diligence and hard work, eventually I would have enough to buy my own craft.  Then, my future would be certain.  Owner Operators were the Captains of their Destinies. 

Have you ever heard of an Owner Op who wasn’t married?  I’ve heard of a handful that has two wives. 

Space; that was my mission.  I didn’t especially care where, either.  It could be signing on with one of the mining conglomerates for an asteroid miner, or one of the transport companies trading ore for air and food.  Either way, there was plenty of money to be made. 

That’s what makes it so unfair.

I didn’t party every night like Hitori did.  I studied.  I didn’t lead on a string of the girls looking to earn their MRS degree because of my family’s money.  I did extra credit work for my astrophysics class.    I didn’t have to have my father’s money buy my way back from an expulsion over assaulting one of those girls.  I chaired the Future Spacers of Japan Club.

I should have graduated at the top of the class. 

It wasn’t fair.

My professors were consoling of course.  They promised me letters of merit for any job I would go after.  I did my best to put a brave face on, but I knew the writing was on the wall.

The letter from NASA came first.

Followed in short order by the letters from Titan Mining, Orion Aerospace and the ESA.

Millis Transfer, Apollo Freight and Kennecott Geophysical’s letters all arrived on the same day.   They all read the same too.

Dear Mr. Yagimura:

We regret to inform you there are no suitable positions open for you in our organization at this time.  Your resume will be kept on file for six months.

Thank you, for you submission.

I’ll admit I was depressed, but I don’t think I was suicidal.  Oh sure, I’ve heard the same stories you have about Japanese teens killing themselves over not getting into the right school or job.  But hey, they’re just that.  Stories.  We haven’t disemboweled ourselves for over a hundred years.  Give us a break, would you?

I tired to make my parents understand how much I wanted to get into space.  I know my dad was upset I wasn’t going to follow him into Honda.  Still, I didn’t think my parents would resort to such extreme measures as they did.  I’d only been out of college for a month when the representative came. 

No, I wasn’t drinking myself into a stupor, making up for lost time.  I was trying to get into a pilot school, thank you very much.

“Ken?” called my mothers’ voice as I was pouring over the catalogues from the three leading space flight schools, trying to decide which I could reasonably expect to get into.

“What, mom?” I called back.  “I’m busy!”

“There’s a young woman here to see you,” she answered.  That pulled me out of the catalogs.  I guess I shouldn’t have to say I was still a virgin.  That’s why I was trying to get into Space, remember?  Still, I couldn’t think why any girl would want to come see the skinny kid who’d only graduated second in his class and couldn’t get the job he wanted.

Still, I did as quick of a clean up as I could; it was a girl after all, and headed downstairs.

And practically had to head back upstairs to change my pants. 

The woman waiting for me wasn’t cute, or pretty, or attractive.  She was gorgeous.   She was American, tall, blonde, blue eyed and buxom; the very image of Japanese Male Lust personified.  She was dressed in a Space Crewman’s Jumper that was Hot Pink and left little to the imagination, although I didn’t recognize the logo she wore on her left breast or shoulder.  Not that I needed to, the jumper told me who she was with.

I have to admit that I should have studied harder at my English, as I was having trouble reading the company’s name. 

She bowed and in a voice of a swan said, “Watashi wa Sara Wellington desu.  Hajimemashite dozo yoroshiku.”

I returned her bow and tried to make a good impression.  Yes, she was older than I was, but I did not want to disgrace my parents.  “I am Ken Yagimura, Miss Wellington.  I am pleased to meet you.  Please do not feel the need to speak Japanese, although yours is excellent.  Please excuse my limited grasp of English.”

“Not at all, Mr. Yagimura.  Your English is quite good.  Please call me Sara,” she said with a heart melting smile. 

Remembering my manners, I gestured her into the central room of our apartment.  Dad does very well for us from Honda.  Our apartment allowed my parents and me to have our own rooms in addition to this central room.  It was currently in its living room configuration with the couch, low table and Dad’s Lazy Boy in the center.  The far wall from the front was a screen behind which was the stove and the other implements of the kitchen, which was also in this room, but at least they were out of sight.  “I’ll just get you both some tea,” said Mother with a smile as she retreated behind the screen.

“Thank you very much,” replied Sara as I insisted she sit in the Lazy Boy. 

“Are you hungry at all?” I asked.  She shook her head before I could launch into the recitation of the various snacks we had on hand.

“No, thank you.  I’m watching my weight just now.”

A few minutes of awkward silence followed until mom brought out the tea, placed it on the table and withdrew to her room.  “Please, have some tea,” I offered as I extended a cup to her.  She took it, very conscious of the correct manners and forms.  I guess I should have realized then this was a huge setup. 

“Thank you,” she said before taking an appreciative sip.  Mom makes really good tea.  “I suppose you’re happy to be out of school finally.”

“It was a lot of hard work,” I agreed.  “But I think it was worth it.  Actually I am trying to become enrolled in a flight school when you arrived.”

“I’m sorry to have troubled you,” she apologized at once.

“It is not trouble at all,” I assured her.  “We are happy to have a guest.”

“I am deeply honored to be here,” she returned.  Oh yes, she was good.  Of course, I wouldn’t realize all of this for some time later.  Now, I don’t want you to think that I blame Sara.  Not in the least.  But it was she who propelled my life in this strange new journey it has become.  “My company received your transcripts from your mother.  But, I must admit that is not the only source we received it from.  Both NASA and the ESA sent us a copy as well.  We are very impressed with your scholastic achievements, Mr. Yagimura.”

“Please call me Ken,” I told her, flattered that both Agencies had thought enough of my application to forward them.  “Please forgive me; I am having trouble reading the logo of your company.  Who are you with, Miss Wellington?”

“It’s Sara,” she said again with a smile and removed a folder from her shoulder bag she’d placed discretely on the floor beside the chair.  “I’m a recruiter with the Care Givers Company.  Have you heard of us?”

I nodded.  Care Givers was the pre-eminent staffing firm for filling open positions both for the big conglomerates and the smaller Owner Ops.  “I’m deeply flattered to have been noticed by your Company, Sara.  But, I thought that Care Givers only hired women?”

“Not exactly,” she temporized with something like amusement in her tone.  “Care Givers is dedicated to providing the best professionals through out the solar system.  We have standing contracts with Apollo, Titan, Millis and Orion.  In addition we supply personnel on an as needed basis to independent vessels for tours of various lengths.  I’m happy to say that once a Care Giver is assigned to a vessel, they have never been dismissed.”

“That is very impressive,” I told her.  Still, I couldn’t think of a single Care Giver I’d ever seen or heard of who wasn’t female.  Maybe I had done well enough in school. 

“Please forgive my directness, but I did bring along a recruitment package with me if you would consider working for our company.  This is the pay sheet for a first year trainee,” she said, placing the sheet on the table within my reach.

Wow.

I mean WOW!

“Had you considered our Company at all, Ken?” she asked.

“Honestly, no.  As I said, I was under the impression that you only hired women.”

“All of our field agents are women, you are correct,” she said a bit hesitantly.

“Then, I do not see…”

She smiled a grin that did little to clear the confusion in my mind.  “Ken, have you ever heard of the DeCorvin Process?”

“Is that a mining technique?” I asked fearfully.  I wasn’t prepared for a test.  She only chuckled for a second before she suppressed it.

“Not exactly.  Don’t feel bad, there aren’t many people who are interested in Space Flight who happen to be up on the more obscure forms of bio-chemistry.  It is a painless, gene tailoring process that is administered intravenously.    Like most great discoveries in biochemistry, it was an accident.  What it does is alter and repair human DNA from its first strings back to original composition.”

“Repair?” I asked hesitantly.

She nodded.  “Before I underwent the DeCorvin Process I had traits for Lymphoma and Colon Cancer, in addition to a history of diabetes and heart disease in my family.  Now, I don’t have to worry about any of them.  How old do you think I am?”

I blushed.  To be honest, if pressed, I would have thought Sara was about thirty.  Still young, and in the prime of her life, but obviously a fully adult woman.  None of that detracted at all from the incredible beauty she wore like a comfortable sweater.  “I really should not say,” I hedged.

Her swan voice laughed again.  “It’s alright, Ken.  I’m a big girl.  Seriously, take a wild guess.”

“Well, if you insist…”

“I do,” she affirmed.

“Twenty seven?”

A sardonic grin spread on her face.  “Now you’re just flattering me.  But I won’t put you on the spot.  I’m fifty two.”

What?

She read the confusion on my face and her grin became wider.  “I joined the Care Givers Company in June of 2070.  I’ve been with them now for thirty four years, and loving every minute of it.  Not only is father time held at bay, but I won’t have to worry about any of the genetic problems my parents did.  This is all outlined in Benefits Spreadsheet on page four of the pamphlet.  In all, I believe it was a very small price to pay for what I’ve received.”

“Price?  I am sorry Sara, I do not understand.”

“Let me be a little blunt, Ken.  When I joined the Care Givers Company my name was Sam Wellington.”

I blinked.  “Why did you change your name?”

“Please forgive my directness, Ken.  I was born a man.”

Oh. 

OH!  “Just a moment!” I exclaimed, politeness gone from my mind.  “You do not mean…!”

“I mean exactly what you think I mean,” she said evenly.  “The DeCorvin Process alters human DNA back to its original form.  All humans are female at conception.  The presence of the Y chromosome alters the female fetus to male.  DeCorvin strips away the Y to return the gene pair to XX.  As I’ve said, it’s painless, completely risk free and has a long list of benefits.  I can expect to live to about two hundred, perhaps longer if I choose to undergo some of the more expensive anti-aging techniques that are available now.  And, Ken, I can afford to.”

“But..!” I sputtered.  “It is still two hundred years as a woman!”

She grinned.  “Yes, thank God, it is.  Ken, I know what you’re thinking.  I’ve had this conversation thousands of times.  You’re full of worries, and fears about what people will think and all of that.  Let me say this.  I’ve been a woman, well, more than thirty years now.  I wouldn’t go back if you paid me.  There’s not enough money in the world.  I’m more than comfortable financially, I enjoy perfect health, and I’ve had the benefit of some of the most fantastic physical intimacy of my life.  Oh, and I get to follow my dreams of being in space.  If that sounds interesting to you, please take my card.  We have an office here in Tokyo.”  She stood and placed the card on the folder before she collected her hand bag.

“Is…is there a reverse of the DeCorvin Process?” I asked hesitantly.

“No,” she said flatly.  “No one who’s under gone it has asked for one.  Konbonwa, Yagimura-san,” she said, bowing once more before she collected her sandals and was out the front door.

Her card sat on my desk with the folder she left for two weeks.  Two weeks while I tried, and failed, to enter my first three choices of Flight Schools.  Space was a harsh mistress, someone once said.  There wasn’t any place for a young man who’d finished second.

Unless he had something other to offer besides talent.

Out of curiosity, I opened the folder and read the brochure.  What it told me surprised me.  The training I would undergo would last three years before I’d have my first assignment.  In that time I’d be taught to be a pilot, astrogator, engineer, along with a host of practical and applied sciences.  I would graduate with the equivalent of four doctorates. 

In addition, I would learn to be a cook, play a musical instrument of my choice, as well as how to be a Vegas certified dealer with every card and dice game around.  Care Givers weren’t only expected to be qualified crewwomen, they were expected to entertain.  Which lead me to the uncomfortable section labeled Physical Intimacy Outlines and Expectations.

A vessel with a Care Givers Contract was required to hire one Care Giver for every six males on the crew. 

Oh my God we sleep with them!

That was why CGC was the dominate contractor in space.  I would be expected to share my bunk, six nights a week with a different crewmember.  The seventh day I could sleep either alone or with one of the rotation of my choice.  However there were strict rules against obvious favoritism.  CGC went out of their way to make sure every employee gave equal time to the entire crew.  I would be a sexual expert as well.  I’d be taught positions, techniques and theories from the Karma Sutra to Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Afraid to Ask and everything in between.

My contract with the company would be for an initial twenty year term.   I could re-up for additional tours of five years with very healthy sign on bonuses, but the penalties for early termination were draconian.  A quick stint of math later told me if I didn’t spend a single yen from the entire twenty year term it would just pay off the penalty.

I began to feel even more uneasy about the entire thought.  It was then I noticed a micro DVD was in the back flap of the brochure and removed it.  It didn’t cost me anything to look I supposed.

I opened the tray in my TV, placed it in and closed it.  After a second, a language prompt appeared.  “Japanese,” I told the TV.  The screen then brightened and showed me Sara’s lovely face once more.  She bowed and began in her flawless Japanese.

“Hello Ken-san.  If you’re watching this, then hopefully our conversation went well and you’re considering joining us here at Care Givers.  That makes me very happy.  Like most great decisions in our lives, this one should not be entered into lightly.  Yet, there is nothing more rewarding than meeting the greatest of challenges both to ourselves and of our lives.  Space is the Greatest Challenge of our time, Ken.

“It is a challenge I think you are up to.  On this video are some uncompensated testimonials I’ve gathered on my own time to help my recruits decide if this is truly what they want for themselves.  Or, if you’d rather, come and talk with someone in person.  Our offices here in Tokyo will be happy to page me or set up a tour of our facilities for you.”

Her image faded into a menu labeled micro tour, testimonials, Expanded Information and a prompt to change the menu to English.  “TV off,” I told it.

No amount of video would change seeing things for myself.  In the morning, I decided, I would go and look.  If I didn’t like what I saw, there was always Honda.

Chapter Two

The Care Givers Company

The Company was obviously doing well.

Their ‘offices’ in Tokyo was a three hundred story super scrapper in downtown with its own station on the Shubuta Line.  I worked my way off the train with perhaps fifty other people, the vast majority of whom were women.  I was astounded.  Ever since the genetic tailoring advances of the 2050’s the so called gender gap had been widening uncomfortably.

Coupled with the family size restrictions meant most families opted for a son, not a daughter.  They were even discussing laws about women emigrating off world or working in inherently dangerous professions.

I don’t think I’d ever seen so many women in one place.

It took me several moments to work up my courage to approach the smallest group and bow.  “Excuse me,” I said after they had returned my bow.  “My name is Ken.  Please forgive my rudeness, but I wonder if I might speak with you?”

“I’m Jill,” replied the red headed American girl in excellent, accented Japanese.  Like her friends, she was breathtakingly beautiful.  Lithe and graceful with a trim, athletic figure that was well complimented by the hot pink crew jumpers they all wore.  “Pleased to meet you, Ken.”

I switched languages to my somewhat halting English.  “If it will be more comfortable, I can speak English.”

“Which ever you like,” she replied easily, also in English.  “What can we do for you?”

“I was contacted by a recruiter,” I began, but she interrupted me with a look of admiration on her face.

“Really?  Lord, I just about had to resort to bribery and blackmail!  You must really be something if they’re coming to you, Ken!”  I bowed.  Flattery always smoothes over discourtesy. 

“You are very kind.  I was hoping I could talk to someone, perhaps at length, about their experiences and opinions of working here.  I have not made up my mind, you see?”

“I’d be happy to,” she responded, “but first I’d have to square things with your recruiter and my instructor to miss the time.  Who came to see you?”

“Sara Wellington.  I was hoping for something a little less formal, however.”  Comprehension lit behind her blue eyes.

“I can’t miss classes without permission, Ken.  And I wouldn’t want to upset Miss Wellington.  However, if you don’t mind that I tell them you want to speak with me, I’d be happy to meet you on my own time.  I promise I’m not a recruiter myself, and anything I tell you will be the truth, well, at least the truth as I see it.  How’s that?”

“I cannot ask for more than that, Jill.  Thank you very much.”  She bowed.

“It is an honor to be of service.  Now, let’s get you and Miss Wellington together so she can give you the tour.”

She led the way through their security screens, all a fairly standard affair for such a theoretically sensitive place.  Just a cross check of my thumb print with the Tokyo police, and a DNA comparison to the sample embedded in my student ID card.  By the time I had my visitor badge, Sara had arrived.  She and Jill spoke quickly in English that made it difficult for me to follow as they used a good bit of slang I wasn’t familiar with.  Nothing about their tone or body language seemed angry at all.  Indeed, both were smiling through most of it which only broadened when they turned back to me.

“It’s great to see you again, Ken,” Sara said after our exchange of bows.  “Jill tells me you’d like to pick her brains for a bit about what working here is like.”

“I do not mean to offend,” I started quickly.

“Not at all,” she assured me.  “She’s due in her astrogation class just now, but if you’d come with me on a bit of a tour, by the time we’re finished she’ll be out of class for the day.  I’ll buy you kids lunch and you can talk the night away if you like.”  

“I’m very grateful for your generosity.  I can pay for lunch.”

“Nonsense,” she retorted.  “You’ve just graduated from college.  You probably have a mountain of debt staring you in the face.  I won’t hear of it.  Besides, I think I can afford it.  And don’t worry about me tagging along straining the conversation, either.  I have a hot date this evening to get ready for,” she said with a wink.  I must confess to blushing as she turned back to Jill.  “We’ll meet you here after class.  Have Doctor Wantabe page me if she’s concerned about your tardiness.”

“Yes ma’am.  See you in a couple of hours, Ken.”  She smiled was gone, hurrying after her friends.

“Jill’s a good kid,” Sara confided to me as she led the way to the bank of lifts along the back side of the spacious lobby.  “She almost didn’t make the minimums to be accepted, but she’s a hard worker who wants to be here.  I think she’ll do us proud.  Now, what would you like to see first?”

“It’s all very overwhelming,” I told her.  “Perhaps we could go to your office and you could explain some of the process to me?”

“That’s a great idea.  Follow me.”

I was surprised to find the elevator had chairs.  I made myself comfortable as she pressed a series of buttons on the pad, and then sat down herself.  Then the car began to travel.  “We work our buildings as close as you can expect to find on a space ship.  Let’s the girls get acclimatized easier.  These lifts run all through the building and they move side to side as well as up and down.”

“I would think only some of the largest vessels would have systems like this,” I said.

“The largest vessel we have crew on is the Robert Heinlein with Apollo Freight.  She’s four hundred meters stem to stern and masses into nine decimal places.”  That was impressive, leading contractor or no.  The Robert Heinlein was the flag ship of Apollo’s fleet.  Only their best and brightest served on her.  When she was launched, she was the largest space ship thus far humanity had produced.  We had done a study of her construction in The Future Spacers of Japan club. 

“Of course,” she continued, “the vast majority of the vessels we place on are significantly smaller.  The average crew size is six to twelve and around sixty meters.  As a matter of fact, last months Forbes magazine had an article that states they believe vessel crew size arraignments have been altered world wide to fulfill our staffing requirements.”

I squirmed a bit in the seat, uncomfortable to say the least with the way the topic of conversation has shifted.  “It doesn’t bother you at all about…” I trailed off, unsure how to phrase so delicate a question politely.

She laughed an easy and unforced laugh.  “For someone who wants as badly as you want to be in space, you have a very Grounder mindset, Ken.  It’s all comes down to numbers, when you think about it.  The Heinlein takes a year to go from Earth to Mars and back.  No matter where you go in space, you find the same problematic ratio of men to women.  One of the reasons we have flourished as a company is that we recognize that morale is as important to the mission as any piece of equipment.  If your crew is stir crazy, they make mistakes and you run the risk of trillions of dollars in investment of craft and training are lost.  Never mind the cargo.

“No, to answer your question, I don’t have a problem with any of the services we provide.  I’ve rather enjoyed my time as a Spacer, if I can say so without embarrassing you.  I have several close friends from my various postings I maintain contact with who I get to see as they come into Port.  That would be my hot date this evening.”

“I don’t mean to pry,” I apologized, but she dismissed it with a casual gesture and a smile. 

“It is a significant part of the job, although I think it should be listed on the benefits spread sheet.”

“Please forgive my inability to put this any other way, but how did prostitution become a viable business model in staffing?”  The smile left her face for a brief moment before it returned a bit more guardedly.

“Care Givers are not whores, Ken.” She said evenly.  “No where in our contracts does it state either implicitly or through some kind of coy language that our employees are paid for sexual favors.”

“I do not understand,” I started.  She nodded.

“If I were to ask you if a geisha was a prostitute, what you tell me?”

“They are professional wives,” I replied automatically.  “A hostess to entertain their client and his guests.  No, they’re not prostitutes, but that is a common western misunderstanding.”

“Do you think they sleep with their clients?”

“I suppose, but certainly at her discretion, not the clients.”

“Does that make them whores?”

“You don’t understand…” I started.  This was one of the aspects about my culture that really bothered me when foreigners couldn’t seem to get.  Before I could launch into my lecture about the cultural differences and the history of the Geisha, she laughed.

“I understand completely, Ken.  Care Givers was founded by a retired Geisha.  Mary Yotori, a classically trained, Yokohama Geisha who realized space was going to be the profession where her services would be needed most through out the next century.  She never set a toe in space, but she was a shrewd investor who had amassed a considerable fortune.  She hired the best retired spacers and technicians she could afford and started Care Givers on this very spot.”

The lift came to a stop and the doors opened onto a lobby identified in several languages as Recruitment and Personnel.  I was more than a little confused as I stood and followed her out and down the hall.  “But, the brochure said there were schedules and it was all very regimented,” I said to her smile.

“Yes, it does, you’re right.  We are blunt in our recruitment literature to help weed out the candidates who really can’t adapt to the Spacer Mindset.  It’s very different up there, Ken.  The people you will work with if you take the job understand there are not enough women to go around.  Team work is a survival skill in space.”

“I’m going to be trained to be a space geisha?” I asked incredulously.

“You’re going to take the job then?” she asked a bit eagerly, a smile on her face. 

“I don’t…”   Her ready laugh interrupted my consternation as I tried to put together a polite answer.  We stopped at a secretary’s desk who was handing her a PDA.  Surprisingly, here in the staffing area, the numerous women I’d seen through out the building returned to the more normal ratios I was used to.  All of the secretaries were men.

“Here are your calls, Sara,” he said with a small bow in my direction which I returned.  “Can I bring you or Yagimura-san something to drink?”

“Coffee is always welcome for me, Tori,” she told him before turning to me.

“Coffee would be appreciated.  Thank you very much.”

“I’ll just be a moment.”  Sara led me into her office.  It was very nice and, by Japanese standards very spacious.  Nearly four meters square with a magnificent view out the far wall which was completely windows over Tokyo Bay and the Air and Space Port.

“You haven’t met many Spacers, have you, Ken?” she asked me as she settled behind her desk and gestured me into one of the comfortable looking chairs that faced it.

“The Future Spacers Club had as many come and speak as we could,” I replied. 

“We’re on the cusp of a new step in our culture here, Ken.  There are two types of human beings now.  Grounders and Spacers.  The generation being born and growing up in Space now is going to have a completely different way of looking at things.  With all things concerning humans, a number of it will be Us and Them.  You have had the benefit of a fairly traditional home life.  Your mother and father are married, and live together exclusively.  That’s very rare in space.”

“I wanted to go into space to be more attractive when it came time to get married.  I was hoping to save and become an owner operator,” I said sadly.

“You sound like you’ve lost your dream,” she said softly.

“I can go to space if I join your company, but the reason I wanted to go won’t exist any more.”

At that moment, Tori entered with a silver tray laden with a coffee service.  He poured and presented us both with mugs.  A moment of silence followed as we prepared it and I took a sip.  I don’t think I’d ever tasted such wonderful coffee.  “Surely finding a girl wasn’t your only reason for going into space was it?” she asked.

“Is that important?” I asked cautiously.

“We do our best to be very careful in selecting our applicants.  It does no one any good to go through all the training we put our girls through if they aren’t as committed to this occupation as we are.  How else can we supply the Spaceman’s Best Friend?” she asked, quoting the company’s trademark.  “I don’t think that marriage was the only reason you tailored your whole life towards Space Flight, Ken.  Unless I’m very much mistaken about you.  Still, it won’t hurt to give you plenty of time to be certain.”

I became fearful in some strange way of yet another rejection.  “Please, don’t tell me I’ve failed again?” I begged.  Her manner changed at once to a more consoling one.

“Care Givers isn’t a one shot chance, Ken,” she told me.  “If you and I are sure this is what you want for the rest of your life, we could begin the paperwork now.  However, I think you should have that talk with Jill in any event first.”

I nodded.  It would be good to talk about this with her.  I wasn’t sure exactly why, but I was looking forward to our talk very much.  “If I do decide to do this,” I asked hesitantly.  “What can I expect?”

“Well,” she answered.  “There are a number of forms to fill out and sign.  Your employment contract, new hire contact information, a physical that sort of thing.  Then you leave with one weeks pay.  That’s this pay grade here,” she said, calling up a spread sheet on the screen at once corner of her desk.

While not as much as the first sheets I’d seen, this was still a fairly significant sum.  More than I’d made in a month during the collection of jobs I’d worked through school and college.  “Than what?” I asked.

“Then nothing.  For a week,” she said.  “That’s our fail safe.  You cool off and think about the commitment you’ve just made.  If, for any reason, you change your mind, you just call me and let me know, then you’re off the hook and the contract is destroyed.”

“Has anyone ever done that? I asked.

“Lots,” she said with a smile.  “Almost me, to be honest.”

“Really?”

She nodded.  “Yes.  And before you ask, I thank God nearly every day since I didn’t.  Moving on, you would report back after that week for the DeCorvin Process.  That’s two shots and a thick milk shake.  Other than the injections, there’s no pain at all.  They even tell me the shake tastes good now.  Your initial transition phase is twenty four hours.  You’ll stay in our care facility here for that time.  Then we take you home to finish the transition over about a month, give or take.   Once our physician signs off on your ability to start training, your pay scales goes up about four percent and we cram your head full to the brim.”

“Where would I live during training?’

“Wherever you’d like.  You can stay with your parents or there is a living stipend if you’d like your own apartment.  A number of girls are always looking for room mates as well.”

I sat and sipped at my cooling coffee and ponder my future.  To be honest, I couldn’t tell you what the lure of space was beyond what I had always supposed was a means to an end.  Yet, looking back, my focus wasn’t on the destination so much as it was the journey.  In many ways, Space itself was the destination.

“Would all of my training be here?” I asked softly.  I could see in Sara’s eyes I was more or less hooked, but she was polite enough not to comment on it.

“You can take your theoreticals here or at our facilities in Orlando, or Frankfort.  There is a bit of prestige associated with training here at the Home Office.  For the applied classes, you learn by doing.  We have training agreements with most of the large companies we have standing contracts with.  You’ll be training on short runs in space.  Then, the fun starts; graduation and your first post.  You do get to choose between a large or small vessel and both have advantages.”  She paused for a moment and sought my eyes.  “Ready for that tour?”  

I drained the cup for all the courage the caffeine could supply me.  “Definitely.”

To say that the facility was impressive would be to call a Texan small.  Everything you could need to learn how to live and work in space was at hand.  The labs were well stocked, the computers state of the art and the staff egger to have a new student without exception.  I’ve never felt as welcome as I did there.  I looked, but did not see a frown or unhappy face anywhere. 

Although I was certain I would see one soon enough when I told my father.

Sara departed, leaving me for a brief wait for Jill at the security desk where I turned in my badge.  “Hey there!” she greeted as she jogged up.  “Sorry I’m late.  Doctor Wantabe had to help me with Hoffman Transfer Orbit sketch.”

“Not at all,” I replied, returning her somewhat breathless bow.  “I have only just arrived myself and I am grateful you did not have to wait for me.  Where would you like to have lunch?” I asked, feeling nearly wealthy from the thick roll of thousand yen notes Sara had insisted I take.  Even in the most costly city in the world, this was a serious amount of money.

Jill smiled her lovely smile.  “Well, at the risk of bragging, cooking was my best class so far.  Why don’t you come to my apartment and let me cook for you?”

My heart threatened to explode from my chest.  “I would not want to be any trouble…” I started.

“Oh, nonsense!”  She grabbed a hold of my sleeve and pulled me towards the escalators to the train station.  “It’s just around the corner practically.  Let’s go.”

One never argues with beauty.

Chapter Three

Afternoon Delight

Jill’s apartment was only a few minutes by train from the Care Givers Building and was about what one would expect for a single girl working her way in the world.  Except for the obviousness that she lived alone, there was nothing special about her home.

The building was one of a cluster of such rental properties that all shared a lovely courtyard equipped with a swimming pool framed by cherry and magnolia trees.

The apartment itself was two rooms, the central of which was about the size of Sara’s Office.  Along one wall was a kitchen area that looked well used, but neat and organized.

“Please excuse the mess,” she said as she took my coat to hang with hers on a hook by the door.

The room was not in the least cluttered or unkempt and I said so.  “Thanks,” she replied with a very fetching blush.  “You should have seen the place before I got the limitations of space on a space ship.  On second thought, I’m glad you didn’t,” she laughed.  “So what are you hungry for?”

“Oh, what ever is easiest for you to prepare.”

“Well, how about something classically American then?”  The question was probably plain on my face.  “Cheeseburgers,” she supplied.  “Just let me change and I’ll be right out.”  Then she retreated into what I presumed was her bedroom.

Alone in the outer room of the apartment gave me a moment to look through it as a window into who she was.  There were several photographs around the cubby holes in a wooden entertainment center on one wall that held her computer and other personal electronics.  There were several pictures of people I took to be her parents around a small boy that I presumed was her.  The father stopped appearing in them about the time the boy started to become a young man.  The final set on the top faced each other, one the young man, like me handsome in his own way, but thin and more than a bit effeminate.  I could see her face in his so delicate where the changes.  Opposite this was Jill as she was now, radiant and smiling in the hot pink jumper, the US Flag draped behind her.  Next to it was a smaller snap shot with her in the jumper standing with her mother.

“That’s my mom,” she said softly beside me. 

“I do not mean to pry,” I apologized quickly.

“Well, actually you do,” she said with a smile.  “That’s why we’re talking, right?”  I blushed and bowed.  “Oh, don’t sweat it, Ken.  It’s no big deal.  I’m happy to be of service.”  She picked up the last picture of herself as a man and held it beside her face.  “So, what do you think?  An improvement?”

“Actually, I do not think you have anything to be ashamed of,” I replied.  “Then or now.”  She smiled.  I could not understand why everyone I’d met so far from this company smiled so much. 

“That’s very sweet of you to say,” she said, returning the picture to its place. 

“Why do you keep it?” I asked softly.  She looked at me for a long moment then shrugged.

“It’s who I was.  I’m not ashamed of the life I’ve chosen for myself.  My biology doesn’t change the person I am, or who my mother raised.  I’m proud of what I accomplished as John.  I could wish I’d done a bit better in school, but I’m still proud.”

“How did your mother take all of this?” 

“Oh, about like you’d expect.  A bit shocked at first, then a little angry, but I kept talking with her during my week.  I wasn’t going to back down.  For a while, neither was she.  I guess I get my stubborn streak from her.  Before I left, though, we had lunch.  Well, it started as lunch and turned into dinner.  I think she understands me now and we stay in touch.  I fly her out here for my holidays.”

“Are you happy?”

“Ken, I don’t regret going after this for a second.  Back home, if I hadn’t taken this, I’d be just another guy, probably involved in some kind of manual labor and looking forward to a long, lonely life.  There are more girls in the States than over here, but in a way that probably would have made it worse.  Always looking and longing.”

She walked over to her kitchen and tied an apron around the black tank top and shorts she’d changed into.  Her attire accented her femininity more than the jumper had and I felt the discomfort of an erection beginning to work its way along.  I ordered my breathing, trying to fight it as I sat down to conceal my problem.  “It’s so much better this way, Ken,” she said, turning back from securing the apron.  “I’m going to make a difference…Oh, I’m sorry.  I’m making you uncomfortable,” she said, noticing my predicament at once.  I blushed, deeply ashamed at my body’s betrayal.

“Please, forgive me,” I stammered, nearly incoherent with shame.  I looked away as I tried to force my apology out.  I felt her kneel beside the chair and lift my chin to meet her eyes.

“There’s nothing to forgive,” she told me softly.  “I’m flattered to have this effect on you.  Does wonders for my ego.  May I ask you a personal question?”

At that point, being so close to her, she could have asked me to kill the Prime Minister with a pretty good chance of my trying it.  There was a powerfulness to her femininity that I was helpless against.  “Of…of course,” I stammered, unable to keep the presence of my mind to stay in English.  When I realized I’d slipped back to Japanese my embarrassment only got worse.

“You have never been with a woman, have you?” she asked me softly, also in Japanese.

“Iie,” I breathed.

“We’ll have to fix that,” she whispered before she closed the millimeters between us and her soft lips met mine.  After a long moment, I felt her tongue against my lips, trying to worm its way inside.  I opened my mouth and our tongues danced for what seemed like an eternity. 

At last she with drew and I realized my shirt was open and she’d been running her hands over my smooth chest.  My member ached with erectness.  With a practiced motion, she brought me to my feet while relieving me of my shirt.  This, she folded quickly with an economy of motion and set aside.  Looking down on the swell of her breasts through the top of her tank made my breathing become even heavier than it was.  “Whoa, calm down, Ken,” she said with some concern, gently caressing the front of my leg.

“I…I just want to please you…” I stammered, not sure what else to say to try to put the over whelming feelings I had into words.  She leaned forward and placed a delicate kiss above my naval, sending a shudder through out my body.

“This isn’t about me,” she said softly.  “This is about you.”

“I’m worried…”

“About what?  Don’t worry about me.  This isn’t a test, or a performance.  I want you to relax and this is the best way I can think of to help you.  Please forgive me and my mistakes.  I am a novice,” she whispered, invoking the traditional request of a Geisha apprentice to her first guests. 

“But,” I stammered, “What if I…too soon…?”  Her blue eyes meet mine as I felt her release the Velcro tab on my trousers and gently lower them along with my briefs.

“Then,” she replied as though with out a care in the world, “we start over.  I promise you’ll be very relaxed, Ken.  Now, just make yourself comfortable there,” she said, easing me back into the comfort of the chair as she busied herself relieving me of my trousers and socks. 

These too were folding with the same neatness and dispatch to be placed with my shirt.  “Just relax and let yourself drift away,” she whispered just before I felt her tongue slide gracefully along the length of my cock.  The chair held me in a very comfortable position where she had complete access to my body, but supported me to give me a perfect view of my dreams coming true.  Our eyes met as she gently took me in her hand and caressed me.  “When you feel like you can’t hold off your orgasm for a moment longer, I just want you to relax every muscle in your body and release yourself into me.  Alright?”

I could only nod my understanding.  My cock was in the hand of a beautiful woman who was telling me how much she wanted me to release my seed into her.  I was beyond the capacity of coherent speech.  Yet again she smiled before turning back to my manhood. 

Some part of me knew she realized how close I was, only from the situation itself.  She used her grip to lift my member away from my belly and run the width of her tongue just below my crown.

I very nearly came then.

I desperately thought of anything that might keep that moment at bay.  I thought of baseball, orbital mechanics, lift to mass ratios, anything I could think of, but all to no avail.  She opened her mouth and engulfed me effortlessly in a single fluid motion, down to the root of my being. 

Again I nearly came.

Grasping at straws I clenched my muscles as tight as I could as though desperate to urinate, but having to wait for an empty stall.  Her tongue swirled in long, languid strokes as she held all six inches of me in her mouth.   Not that I’ve looked, but as I understand it, for being Japanese, I’m extremely well endowed.  I can’t use the domestic condoms (yes, I’ve tested them for fit), but I have to pay twice the price for the export condoms we send to America. 

Condoms!  I don’t have a condom!  All that preparation and I’m caught without ounce of protection.

I tried to put this thought into sound but I couldn’t make my mouth work.  Hers, however, was quite busy.  She withdrew, agonizingly slowly, her lips tight about my shaft until free and somewhat cooled by the air in the room from its coat of her salvia.   “Either all the stories I’ve heard about Japanese men are just BS,” she said quietly, her left hand now gently caressing my sack while her right was ever so lightly caressing my shaft.  “Or, you’re really well endowed, Ken.”

“Co…co…” I stammered, unable to think from the loss of blood that my groin was using.

“Don’t hold back,” she ordered, gently.  Then her mouth was full once more without apparent effort with my cock.  I couldn’t turn away.  I couldn’t think.  My eyes took in the sight of my pride disappearing into her mouth, her eyes locked with mine, seeming to implore me to release myself.  I was her slave, I couldn’t have said no to her if she’d ordered me to kill. 

With a sigh of relief, I released the muscles which were the only thing keeping my orgasm at bay.  She felt my muscles relax as she began her upstroke once more.  As the first tingles traveled down my legs, I felt her grab the middle of my shaft with considerable strength.

There was a short burst of pain as the pressure rolled backwards, but my orgasm was already in progress.  She clamped her lips about the remainder of my shaft, altering her rhythm to only that portion of me she could take to her fist, still with its vise like grip keeping my ejaculation inside.  

The orgasm curled up to my toes and still not a drop had left me.

Her tongue danced in counterpoint to the motion of her head up and down me. 

Like a wave in a mill pond, the orgasm washed against my toes and flowed back up my legs and still not a drop had left me.

She began to moan softly around my frustrated member as a howl of ecstasy tore from my throat, loud and raw.  I had not so much as raised my voice my entire life and yet I howled like a wolf to the moon in my desperate need to release my seed that she denied me.

The orgasm flowed up through my belly and abdomen with a force I’d never felt or experienced before, not even from the first time I had masturbated and could feel my seed travel completely through me.  A feeling I’d longed for and never been able to repeat.  And still not a drop had left me.

Her left hand slid down from my sack to the sensitive skin between it and my anus.  She pressed her index finger there along the ridge where the two halves of my body joined and pressed in and down firmly.

The orgasm shot into my hairline and to the tips of my fingers and back to my toes in one long, electric circuit.  My back arced subconsciously as the howl became a roar as I did my best to shove myself as deep as I could into her. 

Still not a drop had left me.

She built a rhythm with her finger that matched the one of her mouth about my cock.  I was a single wire of orgasm as the pressure threatened to overwhelm me and the blackness closed about the edge of my eyes.  I could feel every hair on my body, every cell of her lips and tongue about me.

Still not a drop had left me.

Then as she slid down my length, the grip was gone and her lips were around the base of my shaft.  I couldn’t make a sound.  There was no wind left, there was nothing but the feeling of my seed, so long damned now released in a flood of life.

I felt it leave my testicles and travel the entire length of my body as it shot from me with the force of a cannon.  Up and down her mouth traveled.  Slowly I became aware of feelings besides my seed flowing from me into her.  I felt her throat closing in time to the flow from me, taking all I had to give her and still gently asking for more.

I had no more drops to offer and still she flowed over me, up and down with her lips and tongue of velvet.

I had nothing more.  The darkness claimed me and I cared not if I went to my death.  I had never felt more loved and desired than that life time of a moment.

I was completely at peace and the darkness was welcome.

The wonderful smell of beef cooking brought me back from oblivion.  My eyes slowly opened as my senses began once more to feed me information.  The chair I had lost my virginity in was a recliner, currently in the completely supine position.  I was covered by a soft, comfortable blanket of down that protected both my modesty and the slight chill of the open air. 

The entertainment system was playing music softly that she was singing along with as she worked at the stove.  She kept her voice low to keep from rousing me and, even though her time and rhythm were in perfect time to the music, her voice was unsure as if she were not used to the range it now possessed.  Still, it was, by far, the most pleasant waking I had ever experienced. 

My own feelings were in a languid jumble.  I felt a deep happiness for what had passed between us, a fools hope that this situation could somehow become permanent and a fondness for her that I realized I would never forget. 

I knew that if anyone ever laid so much as a finger in malice on her, my avenging her would all encompassing and terrible.

As I carefully brought the chair back to an upright position, I drew another of her lovely smiles as she glanced at me over her shoulder.  “Hey there, sleepy head.  How do you like your burger?”

I had eaten real beef a handful of times in my life.  While my family was well off, we weren’t rich.  Still, I could smell the difference between the soy imitation I’d grown up with and genuine cow.  This was the real article.  “You did not have to be so extravagant for me,” I said, a tad embarrassed at her generosity. 

“Extravagant?” she laughed, flipping the patties in the pan.  “Hardly, just uncompromising.  And as I can afford to not compromise, I don’t.  Medium ok?”  I nodded, struggling for some discrete way to reach the neatly folded pile of my clothing that was just out of reach seated.  She noticed my efforts and shook her head as she placed the patties on a plate to drain.  “You can get dressed if you want, but I’m not through with you by a long shot.  You’ll just have to take them off again.  Besides, a good burger is messy.  I wouldn’t want you leaving with some embarrassing stain on your slacks.”

“That’s…” I started, struggling for something to say that would sound dashing or, caviler.  I failed.  “…very thoughtful of you.”

She brought out a collection of American condiments I was only marginally aware of from the refrigerator and placed them on the table.  “I hope it was everything you might have hoped your first time to be.”  She bowed formally.  “I am deeply honored to hold such a place of privilege in your life.  Thank you very much.”

My mouth fell open in shock.  She reduced me to a quivering mass, unable to form a sound, let alone the presence of mind to so much as caress her cheek and she thanks me.  “The honor was entirely mine, though I must…” and before I could continue, she sharply raised her hand.

“I do not mean to offend you, Ken, but if you apologize to me one more time I will be deeply offended.  You have given no offense, nor acted in any way other than a polite, and well raised young man.  I have enjoyed what we have shared so far, and will enjoy what we will share after we’ve eaten and talked.  No matter what your decision as far as whether you will join my company or not will change nothing.  You have honored me by allowing me to take your virginity.  By God, by the time you leave here, you will not be a virgin in any sense of the word.  Please, come to the table.”

I removed the blanket and bowed.  “Your slightest wish is my command.  I shall not apologize again.”

“Good.  Come eat,” she smiled.  “You’ll need your strength.”  I carefully folded the blanket and returned it to the chair.  As she returned to the stove, I took the opportunity to cross to the American Style table and chairs and sit down.  The table gave me some amount of modesty which made it less awkward being nude before her. 

She brought over the thick burgers and placed one before me whose bun was still steaming.  She baked the buns herself?  How long was I unconscious?  “Everything ok?” she asked.

“How long was I asleep?”

“Oh, about half an hour,” she said as she placed her own plate opposite me and returned to the kitchen.  “I was going to have the burgers tonight anyway, so most of the prep was already done.  You did ask for what was easiest.”

“I am not complaining.  Only wondering when you had time to bake?”

“The joys of home appliances.  I have a bread maker, keeps me in practice.”  She placed an over loaded plate of French fries on the table between us.  “Now, there’s a science to burger construction.  May I advise you, or did you get food engineering in college over here?”

“I think that might have been an elective course,” I admitted, just barely keeping in a chuckle. 

“Ok, let me give you a quick overview.”  She quickly pulled off her tank and shorts before I could realize what she was doing as she joined me in my nakedness.   I could only stare in appreciation of her lithe and supple form.  Her breasts, while not overly large, were firm and proudly set off the curves of her smooth, tanned skin.  Her well defined muscles bunched and coiled under it as she easily folded both and placed them with mine. 

Her red hair, I couldn’t help but notice, was natural.

She turned slowly for the approval I displayed for her.  Already I could feel my manhood stirring once more to the vision before me.  “You like?” she asked with a playful grin. 

I could only nod.  “Good,” she told me.  “Now, on to food.  First rule of burgers is, if you’re not making a mess, it’s not a good burger.  I don’t want to see any dainty attempts at neat consumption from your end of the table, got it?”  Again my head bobbed, but food was the furthest thing from my mind.  

She took the top of my bun and began to apply the condiments in generous amounts while naming each.  There are times I wish I’d paid more attention, as that was a really good burger.

“Now,” she said around her first mouthful of the sandwich with obvious relish, “that I’m in a thoroughly American frame of mind, what shall we talk about, Ken?”

“I do not wish to give the impression that I am complaining, Jill-san, but I am very…well…I believe confused would be the correct word.”

“You want to know why I’m going to share myself with you?” she asked.  I nodded.  I had promised I wouldn’t apologize again.  It made my ability to answer her question somewhat limited.  She cleared her bite and took a sip of the coke that she had prepared for both of us.  “Well, there are a couple of reasons, the foremost being I like you, Ken.  It was also the only way, honestly, I could think of to get you to calm down and open up to me.  It also gives me an answer to a question I’m certainly you’re going to ask me before you leave tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” I asked, surprised.  She winked at me and I blushed again.

“Yes.  I’d be welling to bet it’s already perking in the back of your mind, isn’t it?”

“What does it feel like?” I asked softly, embarrassed I was such an open book to her.  She nodded.

“That’s the one.”  There was a pause as we both enjoyed her handiwork before I could force my eyes back to her. 

“Well…?” I asked, able for once to keep her eyes.  Her right eyebrow ascended her forehead. 

“There is something of a formality before an applicant is admitted to the company,” she told me.  We don’t advertise it, mainly because if we did, we’d be inundated by so-called applicants, just taking advantage of us.  Before an application is accepted to a new trainee, that applicant is taken by one of the Physical Intimacy instructors and, well, seduced.”  My mouth fell open.  She shook her head.

“Before you ask, no, I’m not an instructor.  I’m a first year trainee.  We do that as kind of a last chance fail safe as well as a basis of comparison later on.  I did ask for and receive permission to be intimate with you, if, in my judgment, it would be of assistance to you in our conversation.  I realized we couldn’t have a conversation until I could calm down those hormones flowing through you.”

“So you knew you and I would...?”  She shook her head.

“Knew?  No.  Suspected there was a high likelihood of the necessity?  Yes.  Prior planning is also something I’ve learned here.  Anyway, if you sign up, someone, more than likely Doctor Wantabe as she’s the head of Physical Intimacy, will take you aside and, well; give you the best sex of your life to that point.”

I took a sip of the coke and tried not to blush too obviously.  “With all due respect to the Doctor, I cannot see how she can exceed that which I have shared with you.”

Now it was her turn to blush.  “That’s very sweet of you to say, Ken.  I’m deeply flattered.  But I only got a B+ in PI.”

I wondered if it were possible to die of sexual overdose.  Out loud, I asked, “Why will she do that?”

“Sorry, I got a little side tracked there.  I had the same experience you did, just so I can make the statement I’m about to with absolute certainty.  As much as I was over whelmed with, and intensely enjoyed my own session.  As much as I thought nothing could ever top the incredible way she made me feel.  As much as you’ll think the same thing when it’s your turn.  It can.  It’s called being a woman.  What you felt earlier when I was helping you relax?  That’s a small, short orgasm for a woman.”

Oh my, what have I gotten myself into?

We finished the meal in relative silence as I pondered this new wrinkle in my life.  Perhaps, to a large degree, I was wasting everyone’s time.  What could Jill really tell me that I couldn’t surmise for myself?  It was apparent not only was she satisfied with her life, but considered it to be greatly superior to her other choices.  Which, as I insisted on helping her clean up the mess of our excellent meal, brought a question to mind.  “Jill-san?  If you only knew of the DeCorvin Process, would you have undergone it on your own?  I mean, if it wasn’t a requirement to have a placement with the Care Givers?”

She blinked as she idly dried the dishes she removed from the rinse sink.  I wonder if my father ever helped my mother with the house work nude…?  Best not to think about that.

“Go through it just because?”  I nodded.  “I don’t know, honestly.  When I was where you are now, it was something of a stumbling block.  Now, if I somehow knew then what I know now?  Definitely.  Even if I’d have to have saved from working three jobs to pay for it.  Ken, there isn’t any way I would go back to being a man.”  She placed the dish into the cupboard before admitting softly, “As a man I was a failure.  Not out of some great fault or irresponsibility, I just didn’t clue into how tough the job market was.  I’m not particularly smart, but I’m not stupid either.  I was lazy.  This is a second chance for me to do something important with my life, Ken.  No, I won’t go back, even if I could, which I can’t.”

“Are they not even working on a reversal of the Process?” I asked.

“Why develop something there’s no market for?” she asked.  “None of us want to, Ken.  It’s not that we’re brainwashed, or mind controlled or out of it.  We’re rational, reasonably intelligent adults who want to make a difference.  We can do that here.”

“I don’t think my parents will understand,” I said softly.  She drew me into a hug that pressed our bodies together.  Despite the overt intimacy of our contact, there was nothing really sexual about our contact. 

“I know how you feel, Ken.  I’d be happy to go with you when you tell them, if you’d like.  Or, really, I guess you ought to take one of the councilors from the company.  They’re better at that.”

“I am sure they are excellent professionals in their field,” I said, returning her hug.  “They do not mean what you mean to me.  I would be eternally in your debt if you would come with me.”

“Welcome home, little sister,” she told me as she pressed her lips to mine.  Like a switch, our innocent contact became sexual and I felt myself instantly respond to her.  “I would be honored to go with you,” she said as our lips parted.  “Tomorrow.”

Wow…!

I mean…WOW!

Chapter Four

The Final Week

I called home the next morning to make sure my mother had dad home from work on time.  There were times when he elected to socialize with the other executives from Honda before coming home.  Sometimes they were quite late.  I didn’t want to interrupt Jill’s time waiting for him.

The remainder of the day I spent at the Care Giver’s office, undergoing my physical, filling out paperwork and trying not to crawl the walls in terror.  The staff sensed my discomfort and went out of their way to be accommodating.  After I was pronounced physically fit and was placed in a comfortable area to fill out the small forest of paperwork Sara arrived.

“Good morning, Ken-san,” she greeted with a smile. 

“Good morning, Sara-san,” I replied.  “Did you enjoy your date?”

“I gather I had as good a time as you did,” she said with a somewhat lecherous wink.  I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment.   “Don’t be embarrassed, Ken,” she said quickly.  “It’s not in Jill’s nature to kiss and tell, but she did have to tell me as your recruiter.  There are some procedural questions I’m afraid I have to ask you.  Did Jill ask for any kind of payment or remuneration for being intimate with you?”

“No!” I said probably more forcefully than I should have.  She ignored it.

“Did she promise you any kind of special treatment or other favoritism?”

“Jill is a kind, lovely woman,” I said evenly.  “Your opinion about her is completely false.  Further, if this is an indication of how your company treats such valuable employees as her, who go above and beyond what was required of her, my opinions of you must be utterly wrong,” I said, standing somewhat stiffly with outrage.

“Ken-san, please calm down,” she told me with a soothing gesture.  “My opinion of Jill is very much in line with yours.  She did not have to do any of the things she did, and I, for one, am very proud of how she handled herself.  However, I must ask these questions, for legal reasons.”

I hesitated for a moment to ponder the situation from her point of view.  There were certainly people who could have been easily manipulated by someone as sexually proficient as Jill.  For them to complete the hire process would be disastrous for the company.  I bowed.  “Forgive my out burst.  Jill-san is extraordinarily important to me.  I should not have leapt to the conclusion I did in her defense.”

“Just one more, Ken,” Sara said, returning my bow.  “Did Jill tell you there was a reverse of the DeCorvin Process?”

“She told me not only was there no reversal, that there was no research ongoing for such a reversal as there was no need of it.”

She smiled and nodded.  “Please forgive my rude directness in my questions.  Can I contact one of our councilors to come with you when you inform your parents of your decision?”

I shook my head.  “Jill also recommended that, but I asked her to be with me.”  Sara nodded as she handed me a silver pendant that was the logo of the company I had noticed everyone wore.

“As you wish, Ken-san.  This is a small microwave transmitter receiver.  It will only work here in the building, but you can page me with it once you’re finished here.  I can either take you to the break room, or, if you’d like you can sit in on which ever of Jill’s classes she’s in at that time until you leave.  Its voice activated.  Simply say my name and it will connect me.”

Then she left me to my task.  The ‘paper work’ was actually a touch pad.  While several forms required some of the same information, as I reached them, the computer filled in the requirements from previous input.  There were a number of clicking yes or no prompts and digitally signing my initials, however. 

The only uncomfortable form was the scheduling of my meeting with Doctor Wantabe.  I elected the day I returned from my week off, where upon I would spend the night here at the office before the procedure the next morning.

Finally I was done.  I sighed and cracked my knuckles in relief, looking forward to getting this unpleasant day over with.  “Sara Wellington,” I said aloud.

“Hello, Ken,” called her voice at once.  “All finished?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“I’ll be right there.”

I stared at the door of the only home I’d ever known for nearly a full minute; taking in it’s every line and curve.  This door had been with me my whole life, but I don’t think it had ever been so difficult to walk through.   Certainly there had never been such a significance attached to simply coming home.  I was not looking forward to this conversation.

“Ken-san?” asked Jill softly beside me.  I looked into her endless blue eyes, now so filled with concern.

“Was it this hard for you?” I asked.  She nodded and took my hand.

“I had to go alone.  I’m here for you.  We’ll get it done together.”

I reached up and slid open the ceremonial paper door that separated the small foyer from the more secure ‘real’ door.  I was home.  We stepped inside, pausing to remove our shoes before my thumb opened the inner door for us.  No turning back…  “Taidaima!” I called into house.

“Oykairinessai,” came my mother’s voice from the front room.  Still holding Jill’s hand, I led the way.  Father was in his chair, reading the newspaper and mother was behind the screen in the kitchen.  He looked up from the paper, a bit of a frown on his face until he saw I was not alone.  Immediately, his expression changed to one of happy surprise.

“Dear, we have company,” he said as he got to his feet and bowed.

“Father, this is Jill Stewart.  Jill-san, this is my father Moto Yagimura,” I said by way of introduction.  Jill returned fathers bow and kept her Japanese very formal.

“It is an honor to meet you, Yagimura-san.”   The process was repeated for mother as she entered the room.

“Won’t you please sit down?” asked Dad, indicating the couch.  I sighed as Jill and I sat.  Politeness dictated from here it would be almost twenty minutes before I could get what I came to say out.  I didn’t think I could keep my self composure for that long so I cleared my throat somewhat loudly.

This brought my father’s eyes at once, his displeasure at my lack of manners written in them.  “Please forgive my directness, but I have a very important announcement I have to make.  I do not think I could stand waiting through all the ceremonies of welcoming a guest into our home. I hope everyone can forgive me.”

“Ken?” asked father, his eyes going back and forth between Jill and me.

“Mother, father, I have accepted a position with the Care Givers Company.”

“Congratulations,” said dad at once.  “When will you start?” 

My jaw hung to somewhere around my knees.  It was Jill who had to answer father’s question.  “Ken will report for the initial phase of the DeCorvin Process next Wednesday.  He’ll be gone over night, then back for a month while he finishes his transition here.”

“Are there any special dietary requirements?” asked mom.

“It’s best for Ken to eat as much as he can stomach of foods high in protein and fats for energy,” she answered.

“But…”  I stammered, “you’re not…upset?”

Dad shook his head.  “Your mother and I had a very long talk before we submitted your transcripts to them,” he answered.  “I will admit was unhappy when she first brought up the idea, but, as she pointed out, you have spent your whole life getting ready to go to space.  Your happiness means more to me than my ambitions for you, son.  I also researched your company rather extensively, young lady,” he said, turning back to Jill.  “You should be very proud to work for them.  All of the correspondence I received to my inquires tells me Ken could not receive a better education anywhere on the planet.”

Jill nodded.  “I realize how deeply honored I am to be a part of the Care Givers.”

“However,” dad said stiffly, “at the risk of embarrassing your mother…” and he trailed off while digging into his wallet to remove a fairly sizable roll of yen notes before presenting them to me.  “All I ask, son, is that you experience love at least once as a man.  If you still decide to continue after that, you have my blessing.”

Before I could say anything, Jill softly cleared her throat.  “That will not be necessary, Yagimura-san.  Ken spent last night at my apartment.”  Dad had the grace to appear embarrassed as he returned his money to his wallet.

“Oh, I see,” was all he said.  After an awkward moment, he asked, “I would imagine the two of you would like to spend as much time as possible together, before…” he trailed off, not quite able to bring himself to use the words. 

“That is entirely up to Ken, sir,” she replied smoothly.  “He is of course welcome, but I would think he would want to spend his time here with his family.”

“I have a compromise,” interrupted Mother smoothly.  All the eyes in the room turned to her coyly smiling face.  “While I would not wish to make Stewart-san uncomfortable, but we have enough room for her to be our guest for a week.  That would accomplish both items nicely, I should think.”

“I would not want to be any trouble,” said Jill quickly. 

There is a gentle kind of iron about Japanese women that Jill discovered as mother proceeded to put her foot down.  When it was obvious she was going to have her way Jill accepted with a minimum of fuss.

I would never in my wildest dreams have ever thought I would share the bed I grew up in, in my parents’ home, with a beautiful woman with my parents also in the house.  It was an interesting week to say the least.

By Wednesday I was more of a man than I would ever be in my life.  Jill and I cemented a friendship by love and shared experience that would last my entire career with the company.  But, as with all things, the wonder of our week came to an end.  I journeyed to the offices with her, she off to class, and me to the physical ending of our relationship.

She promised to be present for the procedure, and for that I was glad in some strange, shared hardship kind of way.  Sara met me at the security desk and quickly the formalities were out of the way and I was standing before a door where I was informed Doctor Wantabe was waiting for me.  Sara bowed and departed, leaving me to my fate.  Steeling my courage, I swallowed and knocked softly.

“Enter,” called a sensuous voice in Japanese.  I slid the door to the side, entered, and then paused to close it, hiding my fear behind the façade of the rituals of my culture.  I bowed, not having laid eyes on the Doctor.

“I am Ken Yagimura,” I said.  “I am deeply honored to meet you.”

“The honor is mine.  I am Ryoko Wantabe.  Please, come in and be at home.  Won’t you have some tea?”  For the first time I looked up.  The room was very traditionally Japanese; there was no hint of Western Culture anywhere.  Doctor Wantabe was kneeling behind a low table upon which the implements of a tea ceremony were laid out. 

While difficult to be sure because the exquisite lavender kimono she wore, the doctor, like all of the other women I had seen wondering the halls of this building was spectacularly beautiful.  Her hair was arranged upon her head in what appeared to have been a very expensive style to have achieved.   

At her bidding, I knelt by the table and was silent as she expertly laid out the ceremony, with smooth, precise movements.  I was deeply honored to have been allowed to take part of a moment of history of our people.  After I drank her excellent tea, I sighed, prepared, I thought for what lay before me.

“You seem very nervous, Yagimura-san,” she said softly.

“Please forgive my emotions.  I am very torn.”

“Torn?” she asked.

“The fault is entirely my own,” I told her.  “I am ready, even looking forward a bit to beginning my training.  Yet, I am also very sad.  Stewart-san and I have become very close.  I feel as if I am somehow betraying her.”

“Stewart-san was once where you find yourself, Yagimura-san.  She knows and accepts the difficulties as well as the triumphs of the life you both have chosen.  You honor her commitment by being here.  You honor her spirit by your feelings.”

“I do not wish to be rude, Wantabe-sensei, but might I ask a favor of you?”

“I would be honored to be of service.”

“Stewart-san and I have become exceedingly close.  I do not wish to embarrass her, but, through our friendship I have come to know what it is I give up.  She has told me why I am meeting with you.   I would ask, if it will not jeopardize my position with the company, if I might simply state that and dream one last dream of my love.”

“I have read with great interest the reports Stewart-san has filed over your time together.  What you and she have shared is somewhat unprecedented in our history, Yagimura-san.  There were some who questioned both of your commitments to us.”

“I do not say or sign that which I do not mean, Wantabe-sensei.  I look forward to my training, all of it.  That Stewart-san has helped me find myself I would hope would not be looked at unkindly upon her.  We know what our futures hold.  Yet, my memories are my own.  I hope I do not offend you, but I should like to keep them and enter this service, forever faithful with this chapter of my life to her.”

“Do you think your desire of such faithfulness will carry over into your professional life, Yagimura-san?  There will be times when you will realize only the body you possess will be of aid and comfort to your shipmates.  Withholding it when needed may be disastrous.”  I nodded as I finished off the now cool tea.

“I know my duty and I will do it, both because it will be my duty, and for the joy of that sharing which Jill-san has told me.  This is merely my gift to her, Wantabe-sensei.  If, for what ever reason, I cannot give it to her, I do not regret.  I only wish a favor.  I will not risk my future over it.”

For the first time, she smiled as she refilled the cup once more with her precise movements.  “This is why I argued most strongly on your behalf, Yagimura-san.  In a way, perhaps, some of our methods are outdated.  There is certainly cause for research to determine if this ritual should continue or be altered in some form to mimic what you and Stewart-san have shared. I might ask for your cooperation with such research when the time is right.  I am satisfied of your commitment, Yagimura-san.  Now, I have a gift for you.”

She gracefully came to her feet and glided as though flying to a smaller door on the far side of the room.  She knelt, knocked softly, and then opened it, revealing a sight that made my heart pound. 

Kneeling on the far side of the door was Jill, wearing a kimono very similar to hers, her hair as intricately arranged.  I had never seen her more beautiful.  “Will you join us, Stewart-san?” asked Wantabe-sensei quietly.

“I would be honored to be of service,” she answered before rising with more grace than I would have thought, having never seen her wear our traditional attire before.  The two women came into the room where Jill bowed with extreme formality, her head just touching the floor as she knelt.  “Please forgive me and my mistakes, I am a novice,” she said softly.

Doctor Wantabe smiled as she settled once more and laid out a second cup of tea for Jill as she refreshed my own.  “Jill-san, please have some tea,” she said as she offered the cup. 

“Thank you,” replied Jill hesitantly.  I made a point of taking my own first and carefully rotating the cup as was proper before drinking so that she could see what was expected.  I saw a grateful gleam in her eye as she copied my movements

“I believe you and Yagimura-san are already acquainted, Jill-san,” continued Doctor Wantabe in her easy, yet formal tone.  I don’t think anyone could fault both of us for blushing.  “Yes, I thought so,” she continued with a wry smile.  “In the morning, Yagimura-san will be joining our company.  For tonight, I would like you to help him feel welcome, Jill-san.”

“I would be honored to be of service.”

Doctor Wantabe stood carefully once more and bowed to me.  “Welcome to the Care Givers, Yagimura-san.  Please honor us by resting here tonight.  Jill-san will see to your comfort.”

Already kneeling made it easier to offer my most formal bow, just touching my forehead to the floor.  “Domo arrigato gosamasu.”

She glided to the door, and then paused before opening it to turn back towards us.  “I will see to it you are not disturbed.  Oh, and lest I forget, I have reconsidered the grade I judged your performance from my last class, Jill-san.  I will change your transcript tomorrow to reflect the perfect learning you achieved.  Good night.”  Then she opened the door and withdrew.

I sighed, whether from relief from the dread of what I would have had to do, or some other fact I did not know.  Turning back to Jill’s lovely face, I asked, “I did not understand her last comment.”

A wide smile graced her features.  “Doctor Wantabe has never awarded a perfect score in Physical Intimacy.  She always thought there was room for improvement, of everyone.”

“Until now,” I answered, happy for her.  “Congratulations.”

She shook her head.  “I finally get it, Ken.  It’s not about technique or endurance.  It’s about emotion.  Thank you for helping me learn that.”

Now it was my turn to use the phrase I so often heard them use, understanding its full meaning at last.  “I am honored to be of service.”

She gracefully stood and helped me to my own feet before leading me to the door she had been waiting behind.  Beyond it was small sleeping room, a futon covering the floor its walls adorned with scrolls from the Karma Sutra.  Her nimble hands relieved me of my clothes and once more I stood before her nude.  But there had been changes over the last week.  I was confident of myself, sure of my feelings for her.  For one last night I would be a man, and that was alright with me.

I was an Adult.

“Jill-san,” I whispered as I hugged her to me.  “I have only one worry.”

“What is that, beloved?” she asked me softly, guiding my hands to the ribbons that held the kimono to her.  With a soft rustle of silk it slid from her body and she shared my nakedness. 

“What if my seed has found a home within you?”  She smiled as she took my hand and brought it along the bottom of her right arm, just below her armpit.  My fingers found a hard bump under her supple skin. 

“It won’t.  This is a biochemical inhibitor that blocks the hormone that tells my ovaries to mature an egg for release.  It does not affect my monthly cycle, but without an egg, I will not conceive.”

“I would have liked to spend my life with you,” I admitted softly.  Her lips brushed mine coyly as she pulled me to the futon.

“You will,” was her answer before there were better things to do besides speaking.

Chapter Five

A Change Of Status

The room was comfortably warm I as stood in the loin cloth they had provided me, calm and at peace in a strange way for being nearly nude in a room with half a dozen clothed technicians.  I faced the camera and read the poster they had asked me to read which was behind the camera man.

“I am Ken Yagimura, today undergoing the DeCorvin Process as a preliminary to accepting a position with the Care Givers Company.  I understand that the DeCorvin Process will alter my body until I am a genetic female, with all of the difficulties my sisters face.  I will menstruate every month, and that it will be possible for me to conceive and bear children.  I further understand there is no reversal of the procedure I am about to undergo and will live the rest of my life as a woman.  I make this choice of my own free will, without hindrance, coercion or threat of repercussion.  I understand I can leave at any time without obligation or further consequence.  I state now, for the permanent record, that I request both this procedure and my position in the Care Givers Company and I further release said Company from harm or redress of grievance as may arise from this procedure.  So stated by me, Ken Yagimura, on Thursday, the 27^th of August, 2104.”

From beside me, Jill had been watching with great interest.  Now she stepped forward as the technicians signaled their readiness to begin, in her hands a somewhat sizable glass.  “Are you ready for the greatest challenge of your life?” she asked with great formality.

I took the glass from her, unable to think of some meaningful statement with which to answer her question.  As I held it, she reached down and removed the loin cloth.  There was a soft murmur of appreciation that, I must admit, did wonders for my ego.  Jill’s smile was coy as she pretended to not hear the reactions of my nakedness.  Instead, she reached down and took hold of me, assisting the technician who was fitting a hose over me.  It was comfortably warm, as was the room.

I raised the glass in toast to her.  “I love you,” was all I could think to say before I drained the glass the three swallows.  It was a slightly bitter chocolate that while not unpleasant, I did not believe qualified as tasting good.  A warm sensation flowed from my throat and stomach as they helped me to a couch that was close by. 

“Just relax and let this happen,” instructed the tech who had fitted the hose to my member.  He smiled.  “I promise you’ll enjoy it.”

I nodded, trying to calm my rapidly beating heart.  The warmth spread through out my torso as I felt some hidden knot within me release.  A very pleasant sensation began to fill me.  “The nanites are going to stimulate the pleasure center in your brain, Ken,” Jill told me.  “You’ll pass out, but before you do, it will feel so good.  I’ll be here when you wake up.”

I opened my mouth to reply, but all the came out was a dull moan.  The sensation had spread to my entire body and I was filled with ecstasy.   The moan drug out into a constant sound of the pleasure I was feeling, staring into her eyes, helpless and free. 

“It’s started,” the tech to my right said.  I felt my arm swabbed with something cold, but that only made the pleasure increase.  The feeling of the leather of the chair beneath me made the pleasure increase, even breathing made it increase.  I felt my skin pierced by the needle of the IV and thought I would never feel such intense, orgasmic pleasure.

I felt myself begin to ejaculate into the hose in what felt like a nearly constant stream. 

The orgasm mounted I was injected once more into my right arm.  The warm, almost hot sensation flowed from it, and my moan became a roar.  “The DNA de-compiler,” Jill’s voice said, piercing the fog of hazy pleasure through out my brain.  “It will open up all of your DNA and strip off the Y chromosome.”

My wind failed me and I could no longer make a sound to articulate the ecstasy that coursed through me.  My left arm was swabbed and I felt the needle bite into me, followed sharply by a chill that began to war with the hot flow of the first.  “The RNA now, Ken.  It will re-tailor your gene sequence.  It will happen quickly now.  I’m here.”

Her voice became distant as my eyes flowed from her to my groin.  I still felt myself trying to ejaculate, but I had nothing left to offer.  I watched my member slip free of the hose, drawing in on it’s self.  My pride withdrew even as I felt myself open and reform.

Forgive me, Jill, I never thought anything could feel better than being with you.  I felt a tear of what felt like joy roll down my cheek.  I was incapable of feeling any emotion other than happiness and that incredible orgasm. 

The technician gently opened me and for the first time, something entered my body as he fed a new tube inside me.  It was too much; I could not endure this.  Man was not meant to feel such pleasure.

The retribution of an angry universe took me from bliss and the world went dark.

The soft beep in time with my own heart awoke me.   For a moment I listened to it’s rhythm as I struggled to open my eyes which seemed to be glued shut.  I cannot remember ever being so thirsty.  Finally I was able to win the war to open my eyes.  The lights of the room were dim, but there was a soft point opposite me that illuminated Jill, deeply engrossed in a book; Extra Vehicular Activities: A Brief Synopsis.  After a moment, I realized the title was in English, a writing system I’d always struggled with, though I had read it perfectly.

“Water,” I whispered; my voice, while low and rasping, different at once to my ears.  Its timber was noticeably altered from what I remembered.   While I knew I had not been loud, it brought her attention at once.  She marked her place and set the book down before coming over.

“How are you?” she asked, her lovely blue eyes full of concern. 

“Water,” I managed again.  She nodded and produced a pouch of something and held the straw to my lips.  The potent flavor of the orange juice burned my moisture starved mouth and throat, making me flinch and turn away.  She was insistent, holding the straw to my lips.

“Drink it.  You need it,” she ordered. 

I was too weak to argue.  As I sucked on the straw, I realized never in my life had I tasted such ambrosia.  The burning passed at once and the bag was empty in short order.  Before I could ask, a second straw was at my lips which I eagerly drained as well.  At last the panic was sated and I could sigh in contentment.  “Am I alright?” I asked my voice no longer so harsh.  On listening, I found it pleasant and unmistakably female, significantly higher than my old baritone, but still quite dusky.  There was a subconscious sensuality about it that strangely pleased me.

Jill set the pouch in the bin out of my sight by the bed before picking up a mirror and holding it before me.  “You tell me,” she answered. 

My hair was noticeably longer, below my ears and disheveled.  I at once felt embarrassed for some unknown reason.  My face was rounder, softer, but still recognizably me.  I was a fright.  My eyes, somehow larger and deeper, were encrusted with sand, yet their dark brown had lightened to a warm almond.  My nose had become delicate and my lips full and made for smiling. 

I wanted to wash and make myself presentable in the worst way. 

I was not beautiful then, but with a fresh cleaning and just the right touch of lipstick and some light eye shadow to accentuate my almond eyes…

Where had that come from?

“I am so jealous of you,” Jill told me, putting the mirror aside.  “You should really let your hair grow out, it’s so gorgeous.”

Yes, longer would be good and will both frame my face and accentuate my bust…  The strange thoughts filling my head were causing me a bit of concern, but the thought of drawing attention to my chest immediately made me conscious of it.  There were two, hard, sore lumps under my nipples that could not have filled out a training bra, but they had ambition. 

As my nervous system began to catalog my new form, my groin took the opportunity to announce the numb ache that also had ambitions of crippling agony.  “My crotch hurts,” I moaned in my new voice.  She nodded.

“That would be the catheter.  They’ll take it out in a little while, don’t worry.  Other than that, they tell me you took very well to the process.”

“Hooray for me.”  I looked around, realizing at once I was not in the room I had started in.  This was a very nice hospital type room, but there was also a desk along one wall where she’d been reading, with a couch and an expensive looking recliner.  “Where am I?” I asked, trying to clear my fuddled mind of the extra voices demanding showers, among other things. 

“The infirmary.  Once you finished phase one they brought you here last night.”

“I keep having voices in my head,” I said, finally realizing with some alarm I may have lost control of my faculties.   Jill, however only nodded. 

“That’s the memory RNA.  Think of it as a lifetime of growing up as a little girl.  You get all of the socialization of your new gender so everyday things like how to sit and take care of yourself are natural.  Try not to concentrate on it and if you get a strange urge to do something, just go with it.”

“Is that why I can read English now?” I asked.  Again she nodded, although there was a look of surprise on her face.

“Yes, but you couldn’t before?  You spoke it well enough, if a bit formally.”  She became thoughtful for a moment.  “Although, looking back, you’re choice of words and contractions are more natural now.  They must have uploaded some English routines with the socialization RNA.  English is the Language of Space, you know.”

“What’ll happen now?”  She sat down in the recliner by the bed and took the arm that didn’t have the IV in it.

“Now, my girl, you get some sleep and later on tonight I’ll take you home.  Then, lucky girl, you take the month off with pay while I slave away here.  Then you start training.”

I could already feel sleep tugging at my eyelids.  As it became difficult to think, I suspected the juice of being more than squeezed oranges.  With great difficulty and much slurring of my voice, I asked, “Would you like a roommate?”

She grinned.  “Thought you’d never ask.  Oh, you forgot to put on the forms what you wanted your new name to be.  They need it to re-submit your vital records.”

I actually hadn’t forgotten.  I’d been too keyed up to think of anything that didn’t sound trite or overly pretentious.  There was also the fact that my fears of what I was doing weighed far more heavily on my mind that something as simple as a name.  But now, feeling drowsy and, for the most part comfortable I was overwhelmed with the rather intense feeling of being right for the first time in my life, my minds eye was filled with the smiling face of my mothers mother.  Before her passing, she had made a point to praise and encourage my relentless pursuit of space, always making sure that her Christmas and birthday gifts to me in some way tailored back to spaceflight.

My most cherished possession was a blue NASA ball cap she had purchased for me on her last vacation with my grandfather in Orlando.  It came from the gift shop of Kennedy Space Center itself.

“Masako,” I managed, breathing her name with a smile.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Masako,” she told me before once more the darkness came to claim me once more.

I was not prepared for night mares.  There were flashes of being rushed on a gurney as if critically injured, while red lights flashed over head.  Everyone around me was working feverishly, but there was not a sense of panic, only a lack of time.  Every time I almost got a handle on what was going on, some kind, but worried face would lean over me and adjust the IV which was still in my arm, then nothing.

Next was an angry buzzer and voice cycling through languages, first English, then Japanese and finally Spanish warning of an impending boost.  Suddenly there was a terrific pressure on my chest and the fog cleared from my brain.  This wasn’t a dream.  I looked around to find myself strapped into a chair and down seemed to be behind me.  It was hard to be certain as there felt like a lead weight on my body. 

I was in a cabin by a window.  Around me to my left and front were more seats, rather like an air liner, not that I had ever had the chance to be on one.  But if this was an airplane, it felt as if it were going straight up.  My eyes drifted to the window in time to see the Tokyo Bay fall away behind me around a column of smoke and flame. 

We were going straight up.

As I watched, the home Island fell away astern and beyond the curve of the Earth.  Already I was over America in the space of about five minutes, but on a guess, I would have thought my altitude too high for an airplane.

The blue sky I’d lived under my whole life faded to a perfect, endless black before a dazzling chorus of stars lit up the velvet.  Growing up in Tokyo, only a handful of the brightest stars could pierce the endless light pollution.  On an intellectual level, I’d known about the infinity of space, but now I knew and it was awe inspiring. 

I had forgotten about the weight by the sight as I stared, my mouth agape, until I realized my arms were floating of their own accord.  I was in Free Fall.

“Magnificent, isn’t it?” chuckled a familiar voice beside me.  I turned to look at the lovely features of Doctor Wantabe who was floating just over the chair beside me.  I went to bow, but the straps holding me in place bit into my shoulders painfully.   Her laugh was musical.  “Be thankful you’re still strapped in, Masako-Chan, otherwise you’d be half way across the cabin by now.”

“Sensei, what is going on?” I asked; doing my best to finish the clearing of my mind that my first view of space had started.

“Madness, the great constant of human endeavor,” she told me sadly as she worked herself into the empty seat and strapped herself in.

“Ne?”  I asked even more confused.  A bit of worry clouded her lovely face.

“The United States is pressuring the UN to adopt the Protection of Women Act,” she said sadly.  Seeing my ignorance on my face, she elaborated.  “You never wondered why Jill, an American, was studying in Japan?  Last year, the United States passed a law forbidding women who hold American citizenship from working in any ‘Inherently dangerous occupation’ which spaceflight qualifies as.”

“But, Wellington-san told me I could train at the Care Givers Facility in Orlando,” I said.  Doctor Wantabe nodded. 

“You could have.  You don’t hold US Citizenship.  But, when the UN votes on the Act, it will more than likely be accepted.  There are greater issues you are not aware of, Masako-Chan.  For the time being, we must simply train you here in space.”

“Please forgive my ignorance, but if women are barred from spaceflight, won’t I have to return to Earth?  All of this will have been in vain…!”  Her smile had a feral quality that made me slightly nervous.

 “What ever the outcome of this foolishness, Masako-Chan, none of this will be in vain.  That I promise you.”  She patted my knee for reassurance before smiling a smile that was more than a litt