Sara’s Little Purple Book

An Open Examination of Mutant Sexuality

First Edition, 2007

Mutants are human. This fact is hard for many people to accept, but it is understandable how some could make a harsher distinction: few ‘normal humans’ have a shell made of stone, hurl lightning, or curl their fingers the wrong way. Despite this, mutants have one commonality that makes a compelling point towards their humanity. No matter how ‘weird’ a mutant may be, the vast majority of them can interbreed with a normal human one way or another with a good chance of producing a normal human (or normal mutant) themselves.

In short, EVERYONE has an opinion about sex.

The sexual revolution, however, is only just catching up with mutant sexuality. But who can throw blame when science as a whole is still behind the eight ball on the subject? Remedying this problem, clearing away decades of misconceptions that have built up around the facts, is what this pocket guide is all about. Between these luridly chromatic covers you will discover the pranks and pitfalls that commonly befall mutant lovers, as well as how you may anticipate and counteract the common problems of being a member of the abnormally empowered. At the same time I will discuss the trials and tribulations of gender from the mutant perspective.

Note: While this guide has been written with mutants in mind, it is easily applicable to persons who have been empowered via other sources. Ki based abilities, for example, are included in particular for use by non-mutant supers.

I. Exemplars

On the surface, the average Exemplar is what everyone aspires to be: strong, fast, tough, and drop-dead sexy; plus you get all of that without even trying. What most Exemplars don’t see is the hidden cost of all that ability, at least until it’s too late. All too often their power goes to their heads and they forget the responsibility that comes with it. Nowhere is this more dangerous than in sexual relations.

It was said in Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex and it still holds true: the raw power available at the fingertips of even low level Exemplars can be dangerous to a lover with a normal constitution. You may be able, like a tiger matron with cubs, to pick a baby up with tender hands and leave him unharmed, or to use chopsticks with flair. But in these tasks you merely have to exert a modicum of self control.

Sex isn’t about being in control. On the edge of orgasm, we leave rational thought behind and nothing remains but instinct. It doesn’t help that, thanks to the improvements to their bodies, Exemplars often feel sexual stimulus more keenly than others. If a norm feels the earth move, the Exemplar is at ground zero of the erupting volcano.

The phenomenon of Exemplar-induced sexual injury is so well documented that law enforcement agencies look for certain symptoms during the examination of rape victims to tell if the perpetrator was actually a mutant. A crushed pelvis, broken wrists or hands, fractured thighbones, deep lacerations across the back, and the tearing of various bodily orifices are good examples of injuries that may be inflicted by amorous Exemplars. Of particular note is the so-called ‘SuperHickey’, which involves small areas that have sustained such pressure that blood vessels have burst or cells ruptured. This injury can be particularly dangerous; there have been incidents which caused massive internal bleeding, as veins or even arteries were torn open without breaking the skin.

Due to all these issues, statistics show that the majority of Exemplars prefer partners with powers that allow them to let go without fear. Other Exemplars, other types of Bricks, and Regenerators are particularly common Exemplar partners.

General Tips

  1. Avoiding injuring your partner is your top priority. Fortunately, several sexual aids are available for Exemplars so they can really let loose. First and foremost is the Brick Condom, made for both sexes. Highly durable, these Condoms are made from a patented ‘rubber’ that can absorb a significant amount of kinetic energy, and are coated with a high-slip surface that reduces friction. The same company that makes these gadgets has links with several space exploration programs. These are a must-have item for any Exemplar, even if you don’t plan on having sex in the foreseeable future. It is recommended that you keep at least one on your person at all times. Another extremely useful gadget is Exemplar Handles. The majority of sexual injuries caused by Exemplars involve the hands. Using these bars as grips, usually affixed to a strong surface, prevents incidental clawing, scratching and pummelling assuming that they are used correctly. Be sure to use Handles appropriate to your Exemplar level.
  2. Avoid sucking when you kiss. Pressure-based injuries can be serious and life threatening to the victim. The SuperHickey is also very painful; there are few other things that will kill your chances faster with your lover.
  3. Establish limits early in any relationship. If you don’t have access to any of the equipment presented in tip one, you are well advised to do nothing more than some heavy petting and cuddling. Learn your partner’s thresholds as well as your own, and resist the temptation to go too fast. The life you save may be your lover’s.
  4. If your lover is a Regenerator, you may be tempted to cut loose and let go of that iron self-control that you’re so proud of. This is NOT a good idea. Regenerators may be able to survive injuries that would kill any normal person, but they feel the pain just like everyone else. Unless they are also masochists, the pain will turn them off, and you’ll have ruined what could otherwise have been a pleasant evening with the one you love.
  5. Beware of friction burns; again try to take things as slowly as possible until you learn your partner’s limits.

Tips for Exemplar Females

  1. Be aware that the Exemplar body generally has a higher rate of fertility than normal females, and can possess a marked resistance to contraceptives. Be sure to use contraceptives appropriate to your Exemplar level.
  2. Your nails might be perfectly manicured, but in your hands they are lethal little daggers. Be aware of your extremities at all times, particularly around people and furniture. If you must clutch something, make sure it’s inanimate and non-sentient before you start.
  3. So you’re an Exemplar. You’re stronger than a normal man. Like generations of men before you, you must learn that this does NOT give you the right to force yourself on a lover. And no, he doesn’t want it because ‘men all want it’ any more than ‘girls all want it’. A surprising number of Exemplar women fall prey to their newfound strength and ability to resolve situations by force. Endeavour not to be one of them.

Tips for Normal Females

  1. Be extra cautious. Always insist on a reinforced brick condom. The morning after pill’s effectiveness is also severely decreased when dealing with a pregnancy caused by an Exemplar, so be sure to take preventative chemical contraception correctly before engaging in any sexual activity.
  2. Exemplar men tend to be quite virile; incidences of multiple births are slightly higher when an Exemplar male is involved and the chance of pregnancy is also higher than normal.
  3. Exemplars are abnormally attractive to the opposite sex. Imagine the hottest guy you can think of. Now imagine someone hotter than that. NOW imagine that guy’s effect on your hormonal balance, and you’ll have some idea of the effect that an Exemplar can have on a normal person. Be aware that around an Exemplar you’re not going to be yourself, and try to curb the baser instincts that may emerge. You haven’t experienced being ‘guy crazy’ until you’ve experienced the Exemplar’s particular brand.

Tips for Exemplar Men

  1. One of the most common changes seen in the before/after scenario in the transformation from a normal male to an Exemplar male is the enlargement of their penis to truly epic proportions. This is to be expected due to the nature of the transformation and the nature of men, but be aware that your enlargement may be as much of a curse as it is a boon. Just as the penis differs in size and shape between individuals, so does the vagina. Some are smaller and some are more accommodating. Some women may take one look at your elephantine asset and turn you down flat. Those that don’t may be overestimating their capacity, which can be dangerous and may end in injury. You yourself may not have the breadth of experience with your new equipment that you may have had with the old model, so again, take things slowly until you learn the limits of your partner.

Tips for Normal Men

  1. What goes for normal women going guy crazy over a male Exemplar goes the same for guys over female Exemplars. Remember to think with the thing on your shoulders.
  2. Throw your conceptions of gender roles out the window. Your girlfriend can probably bench press you and the building you’re standing in, and shrug off bullets at close range, before discovering the cure for cancer during her day off. Some guys simply can’t take being physically weaker than their partner, thanks to millennia of cultural bias. Exemplar women also tend to be more aggressive than you might be used to. Take this into account before you get involved with them and be prepared to have a more equal or even traditionally feminine relationship with them. Every couple must adapt to each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and make sacrifices and compromises; this may be the sacrifice that you’ll have to accept if you want a successful relationship.
  3. In vulgar circles, there’s a certain injury sustained by normal men during intercourse with Exemplar women that they call the ‘c**t crush’. Involuntary spasms of the vagina and legs during coitus can severely injure a man’s genitals, pelvic region and back when using certain sexual positions. Again, always insist on a reinforced brick condom, and avoid the missionary position. If you must, a special girdle can be purchased that will take the sting out.

II. Energizers

If any mutant power offers more challenges to relationships between people, particularly in the bedroom, it’s the Energizer trait. The majority of Exemplar-related injuries are minor; the majority of Energizer-related injuries are major. First degree burns to 50-60% of the body PLUS internal damage are not uncommon when dealing with Energizers in sexual relationships. Even Exemplars and Regenerators can have trouble shrugging off these injuries. More severe incidents where the Energizer has completely lost control of their powers have been fatal.

Before you start thinking that you’ll never know physical love and die lonely in a gutter, there is help available that will enable you to have normal relationships.

General Tips

  1. Many professional divers have noted that each year a new wetsuit comes out that is stronger, warmer and thinner than their previous ones. This is largely thanks to the research generated by the mutant porn industry into safe ways for energy projectors to copulate with people who would otherwise die. To this end, they have developed a ‘full body condom’ with breathing apparatus, fully insulated, with the ability to withstand temperatures up to 1000°C, and equipped with reversible ‘pouches’ for the major orifices. These suits are thin enough to provide some physical sensation of touch to the wearer, while being strong enough to retain their integrity. These suits are also available in the appropriate size for household pets and equine companions, though like many things in the porn industry it’s best not to think why.
  2. Electrical Energizers are a boon and a curse in the bedroom. The usual caveats for electrical play in the bedroom apply, only more so. A little buzz to your partner’s erogenous zone may seem like a good idea, and may even work, but be aware that in the mental state of coitus you may not be in a position to judge the exact voltage. You may also not be aware that your partner has accidentally earthed him or herself, possibly resulting in severe injury. It is highly recommended that you invest in non-conductive, high-impact, plastic furniture and non-flammable bedsheets to eliminate the chance of accidental earthing. This also means that showering together is not for you. An unfortunate side effect of this policy alongside your powers means that there will probably be an abundance of static electricity in your living area. It’s a good idea to have an antistatic mat on your doorstep and you may want to regularly drain the charge from your furniture just so that your partner doesn’t get zapped at an inopportune moment. It may also be prudent to attach a grounding line to yourself so that any charge you accidentally generate is channeled through a path of least resistance and safely dispersed into the ground.
  3. Pyro Energizers may just be some of the most dangerous lovers on the planet. Fortunately it is rare for Pyros to ‘lose it’ to the extent that they cause anything but minor burns, though where they cause those burns can often be in very inconvenient places for their partners. More dangerous is the accidental combustion of flammables around the house: bed clothes, furniture, household chemicals, and carpets, for example. Secondary fires present the highest risk not only to your partner but to everyone nearby. You should be knowledgeable in fire safety procedure and burn treatment, just in case of an accident. Make sure you keep several different types of extinguishers around the house, as well as plenty of ice, cold water, and refrigerated gel-packs. Non-flammable furniture is a must, but be aware that almost anything can melt given a high enough temperature. Make your bedroom a paper-free zone or, better, confine the use of paper to designated rooms in the household. Most of all, avoid wooden buildings and furniture as sites for a romantic rendezvous.. and YES, this means avoiding wood and grassland especially in dry climates. It may sound counterproductive, but consider making love under a cold shower; don’t worry, you’ll provide enough steam.
  4. Kinetic Energizers have fewer problems than other Energizers but be aware that sex, particularly rough sex, will build up your charge. Try to drain yourself a bit beforehand and be aware that you may have to bleed off some of that energy afterwards. A punching bag or similar device in the bedroom gives you a nice, safe place to get rid of it all.
  5. GENITAL INJURIES CAN SERIOUSLY IMPACT A PERSON’S HEALTH. The most common burn sites in Energizer-related sexual injuries occur in the erogenous zones. Be aware of your partner constantly, be prepared to stop if it feels unsafe at any time, and make sure you and your partner have a ‘safe word’. If this word is spoken, you both STOP, no matter what. Also, consider a voyeur to referee. It may sound kinky, but again, the life it saves may be your lover’s. If you’re squeamish about other people watching, several companies have produced devices that will monitor a sexual encounter and warn you when the situation meets unsafe parameters. Some can even be linked to your home security system and call emergency services automatically if needed.

III. Shifters

As the saying goes: there’s homosexuality, heterosexuality, bisexuality, and Shifter sexuality. The popular image of the Shifter is of a depraved omnisexual that will literally do anything to anything. The reality is that these are the exception, rather than the rule. While it is true that Shifters are exposed to a greater range of sexual experiences and their inhibitions often break down with age, many Shifters operate under a strict code of conduct that is necessary for them to maintain a sense of identity. Retaining this sense of identity is one of the most important things to a Shifter, and if, for example, their identity hinges upon a concept such as ‘male’ or ‘heterosexual’ or ‘animal’, they will probably refuse advances or suggestions that are contrary to this position even if they have the ability.

On the other hand, a Shifter may acquire some very unusual kinks, such as shifting in the middle of sex, often to a wildly different form. Growing multiple limbs/erogenous zones/genitalia is also a common kink, as well as transposing features from one area of the body to another.

A Shifter lover may be a boon, or a curse in disguise. You may think it would be awesome to have a boy/girlfriend that can look like anyone your heart desires. BUT this is the setup for possibly the biggest pitfall in abnormally-empowered relationships. A Shifter wants what everyone else wants, possibly more so: to be loved for who they are and NOT what they can give you. Do yourself a favour and make sure you love your Shifter partner for his/her mind and personality first; or, if you are the Shifter in question, make sure that you’re not just going to be taken advantage of.

General Tips

  1. It bears repeating: SHIFTERS ARE PEOPLE TOO! In general, a Shifter isn’t looking for a quick shag, they’re looking for a compatible soul. After all, they can make their physical form compatible; it’s the emotional stuff that’s hard.
  2. Shifters open up a wide, wide world of sexual experience left generally unexplored. Whether you are a Shifter or a Shifter’s partner, at some point you are going to be tempted to experiment. Like all experiments, some of these are going to succeed and some of them are going to fail disastrously. The key is research, preparation and forethought. Make sure you know what you’re getting into, have a private place where you won’t be disturbed, take the phones off the hook, and have emergency services on speed dial.

Shifter Tips

  1. Chances are, at some point, you are going to be tempted to try out the body of the opposite sex. THIS IS NATURAL. Human beings are curious by nature and actively seek out new experiences. For normal people, the quest to understand the other side is the journey of a lifetime. For you, this seemingly forbidden knowledge is at your fingertips. But, for all the benefits, there are problems. For one, when you first change you may look like the other sex but you will NOT act like the other sex. Mannerisms are programmed into a person from birth; they don’t generally come with the package. Learning to act correctly as the opposite sex is a long and difficult process, but there are lessons available from experienced Shifters
  2. There’s an urban myth that changing into a male form will cause the fertilized egg to be absorbed into your body. THIS IS UNTRUE. A pregnant Shifter that becomes male will be a pregnant male. Very few Shifters can deliberately abort a child, so there is no excuse for complacency.
  3. Be aware of your mass at all times. Growing an extra hundred pounds of muscle (or whatever) might sound good, but not so good for your partner if you’re on top.
  4. Try to remember that your changes will have a psychological impact on your partner. If your significant other calls you ‘huggy bear’ and you decide on impulse that quickly shifting into a grizzly bear to give her hug is a good idea, you may be sorely mistaken. Few relationships have that level of trust between partners, particularly at the beginning.
  5. You may be tempted to try out what some Warpers call ‘the rhythmic size changing method’. This technique can be dangerous even for Warpers and the control needed is generally too fine for most Shifters. Moreover, it requires a level of concentration on the Shifter’s part that may be prohibitive during a sexual encounter and/or require copious amounts of energy on top of the energy already being eaten up by the event. There are much easier ways to achieve the desired result.
  6. You may be able to stretch your limbs ten meters across the room but, unless you’re also an Exemplar, you’re not going to have enough strength to do much when you get there. Extra flexibility is great for some positions but it can be awfully easy to get all knotted up in the process. Unless you really know what you’re doing, just be satisfied with a little bedroom gymnastics rather than going for your scout badge. If you don’t heed this warning, you’ll just have to weather the ‘hello sailor’ jokes.

Normal Tips

  1. Observing Shifter powers in use can be unnerving, confusing or even terrifying for a normal human being. So much of our world is based on how we perceive it that when that perception changes, it can be hard not to feel that the world is a little unstable. It’s generally a good idea for you and your Shifter partner to have a personal codeword or passphrase that only the two of you know. That way you’ll know if it really is your partner or not, which will in turn give you a sense of safety in the relationship.
  2. Waking up to find that you’re sharing the bed with someone else can be unnerving but Shifters can occasionally transform in their sleep. These new forms can be benign or extremely bizarre, but are generally harmless unless the Shifter is prone to night terrors (if this is the case, you’ll probably know it long before you sleep with them). If this occurs, the most important thing is to remain calm, wait until the Shifter wakes, and use your code phrase once they are coherent. Then make them aware that they’ve changed during the night. Their new form may be distressing to you, but don’t take it personally. Like all people, Shifters aren’t in control of their dreams, and many of these dreams are meaningless. In general, there is no hidden subconscious message being conveyed.
  3. Try not to get freaked out by your partner’s kinks and be prepared to be involved in some truly bizarre situations. It’s all part and parcel of dating a Shifter; if you can’t stand the heat don’t get in the kitchen.

Shifter Bestiality

  1. At some point you may be tempted to have relations with non-humanoids. Again, this is normal for a Shifter who may experience the sexual drives of whole other species. The ‘rightness’ or ‘wrongness’ of sexual relations with sentient non-humans is still a hotly debated topic and won’t be discussed here. What will be discussed are the common pitfalls encountered by those who have experimented in this area, so that anyone who does choose to indulge doesn’t come to the same sticky ends.
  2. Be aware that some species have a ‘knot’ at the base of the penis that expands during sex, effectively joining the mating pair for several hours (to prevent another male from fertilizing the female). Being stuck this way can be highly embarrassing, particularly if one of the partners is humanoid. It can also be very painful for the female depending on the size of the knot, and forced extraction may lead to injury. Be sure to research the sexual habits of any species you wish to emulate thoroughly.
  3. Tentacles can be fun, but the suction produced by some octopi or squid tentacles can be painful, particularly if they are suddenly ripped away from the skin.
  4. Be sure that any creature you emulate isn’t poisonous.
  5. Snakes might seem like fun at first glance but they still need to breathe. Beware of becoming a constrictor also; it may be hard to control your instincts.
  6. Some Shifters can become pregnant by animals and preventative contraceptives don’t tend to work after you’ve shifted form. It’s generally best to shift back to a human configuration, take a morning after pill and wait a few hours before you shift again for the pill to work. Again, just because you’ve shifted back into human form doesn’t mean you aren’t pregnant anymore.
  7. Cross-species Shifter impregnations can be very dangerous to the mother. A human-sized mother carrying a foal is in serious danger even before the birth, due to the amount of energy the baby needs to grow. In the majority of cases, doctors recommend abortion: be prepared for this eventuality.

IV. Warpers

Of all power types, there aren’t too many things that Warpers can do to enhance the sexual experience. This is particularly true since Warpers carry the fewest commonalities between individual mutants, and the widest range of tricks and techniques.

General Tips

  1. As a teleporter, you don’t really have too much that you can do in the bedroom to really get your partner going power-wise. Where you really have the edge is dating. Whisk your significant other off to Paris for lunch on a whim, or dine in Monte Carlo before watching the sun rise over the Grand Canyon. All it takes is a little organization, and remembering to make sure that everyone has their passport with them at all times.
  2. Some Warpers can control space to such an extent that they can reach across long distances with their hands and feet without passing through the intervening space. It didn’t take long for mutant pioneers to develop the ‘long distance footsie’ or the ‘long distance glomp’ after they stopped pinching, tickling, wet willies, and nipple cripples. But remember, there’s a fine line between being playful and rape. Make sure your advances are welcome beforehand.
  3. For those of you who can change density, be careful. As with Shifters, a miscalculation or sudden activation in the throes of passion could lead to injury. If you can make yourself and your partner light, however, several new positions and locations open up, such at on top of a pool (better than a waterbed) or levitating in midair. Do not try to make love while floating in the ocean, however: the currents make your travel unpredictable while you’re not paying attention, and you could wind up lost or dashed across a rocky beach. The same goes for the upper atmosphere, see the section on flyers below.
  4. Size changers. Actually, this reminds me of the joke about the girl who was ‘so large’ that her lover fell in. While inside, he stumbled across a previous lover who was also lost in the gigantic, moist, cavern. “It’s nice meeting you,” the second man said, “but could you help me find my mototcycle?” The lessons here are obvious. First, it’s no joke, and size Warpers should take care whenever shrinking themselves or anything else down. Second, no matter how intriguing, it is inadvisable to go exploring inside your partner’s anatomy without proper breathing equipment. Also remember that you still need food and water, so if you plan a long sojourn, pack some lunch. Further, concerning the bodily fluids of those who can significantly enlarge or shrink, I’d like to remind everyone that once outside the original body those fluids tend to retain their changed size for an unpredictable time span, often reverting to ‘normal’ size and volume at the most inconvenient moment. Further, fluids will sometimes briefly retain a link to the producer, i.e., when the ejaculator later uses his power to grow by a factor of five, the ‘receiver’ of said ejaculates may find that appropriate undergarments (such as a nappy) are a blessing. Finally (and this is perhaps unique to size warpers and some rare Shifters) the technique commonly known as ‘rhythmic size change’ is extremely dangerous for non-experts. The very least of the consequences is a series of stitches in an extremely embarrassing location. For anyone wishing to practice this in safety, I’d suggest that it be applied to the bosom area where it is relatively safe. Otherwise, restrain size play to fitting tab ‘a’ into slot ‘b’ comfortably. Another point is that if you decide to take a ride in someone’s cleavage, the tightness of your mount’s harness (sorry, girls, there’s no diplomatic way to say this) is imperative to your survival. Too tight, and the motion caused by simple walking could cause an extremity to get stuck, suck you in, and crush or suffocate you to death. Too loose, and you’ll fall straight through to the ground, plunge into your partner’s undergarments, or get crushed as your significant other tries to catch you in a panic as you fall. It is recommended that you purchase a special ‘safety bra’ that has an inner pocket, emergency breathing tube and a harness.

V. Wizards

Just when you thought it was safe for you to skip the rest of the book and read the section that applies to you, think again. Everything that is said in this book applies to you, the entire book without exceptions. A spell can be made that will do absolutely anything you desire, and with that versatility comes a wide range of responsibility. So be sure to read the whole book, as well as the following section that only covers problems specific to Wizards.

General Tips

  1. Summoning a Succubus, Incubus, or other sexual being for a bit of a tryst sounds like great fun. Until you remember that most Demons of the lower realms want to suck out your soul and leave you as a dry, withered husk. Yes, you can bargain with them, but do you really want to pay the price that they’re asking? And once they’ve got their hooks in you, you can be darn well sure that they aren’t letting go. What nobody ever seems to think of is summoning a sex Angel. They’re much more reasonable, loving, personable partners as long as you can stand all the sunshine and sweetness and pay their more reasonable prices. Beware tooth decay, confessions of eternal love and REALLY bad poetry. Author’s note: Yes, I am well aware that I am one of the soul sucking demons that I describe. Being one puts me in a unique position to understand their methods and motives. Not all of us are Evil, but even so we are bound to follow the accords set out in the Contract of Solomon. No exceptions. This means that we MUST extract a high price in return for our services. Before you start thinking that this seems unfair, remember that the Contract of Solomon was drafted to prevent whole armies of demons from marching across the dimensional boundaries and conquering Earth.
  2. So, sex magic. Yes, you can draw energy from sex. And yes, sex can be a ritual component that can enhance some spells. An orgasm is a powerful change in mental state and you can use that to your advantage. As always, remember to use protection. Just because it’s a magic ritual doesn’t mean the laws of man or nature are suddenly suspended.
  3. ‘Voodoo Sex’ might get plastered over the tabloids every other day, but the fact is that yes, you can have sex with someone using sympathetic magic, i.e., through a specially prepared ‘Voodoo Sex Doll’. Unless consent can be established, Voodoo Sex counts as Rape in all countries that are up to date with the possibilities inherent in magical crime. Those that are not are catching up quickly, however.

Normal Tips

  1. Wizards can do a lot but they can’t do everything you might desire. They have a limited ‘battery’, some more than others, but eventually that battery will run out unless they have time to recharge. If they abuse their magic too much, they can be left drained, or even fall unconscious. In general a spell or two to spice things up is fine, but don’t be too demanding.
  2. Yes, there are spells out there that can influence your mind, subject you to an instant orgasm, impregnate you from afar (whether you are a virgin or not), manipulate your body, and otherwise do you harm. If you believe that you have been subjected to one of these spells, remain calm and call the police or a fully licensed private practitioner of the arcane arts. They will be able to identify if you (or someone close to you) are under the effects of a spell, and can take appropriate action.
  3. If you’re reading this, chances are that you may be an ‘apprentice’ or what others might call a ‘Wizard groupie’. First of all, please be aware that most Wizards are sick of being quoted at from Tolkein, Butcher, and Garret. They are also sick of people renting out Fantasia on the assumption that they like ‘The Wizard’s Apprentice’. At the other end of the spectrum, your kink may be being ‘struck down by the wrathful Wizard’. Quick survival tip: DON”T provoke a real Wizard’s wrath. You can fantasize all you like, but the real thing will NOT be what you were imagining. Stick to roleplay.

VI. Psi & Ki

Psychic powers may have more in common with magic than Ki but, for the purposes of this examination, the uses and abuses of both types of powers are quite similar. Psychics focus internal energy and bend it to their will with the power of their minds. They also tend to be prodigiously intelligent, allowing them to use their extraordinary internal control to effect the world around them. Ki users can control the flow of Ki or lifeforce through their and other people’s bodies, affecting both themselves and the world around them. Their techniques are not interchangeable mechanically, but the concepts behind the techniques are the same.

General Tips

  1. Physiotherapists have to be aware that in applying their craft they may addict their patient to the therapy. This is due to the immediate relief that the patient feels afterwards. Psi or Ki massage has the same dangerous properties if used repeatedly over a short period of time. Some of you may be thinking ‘WOO-HOO! BRING ON THE LOVE SLAVES!’ right now, but take a second to calm down and think things through. First of all, addicting people in this way is a Felony under the Xavier Act, and you can be charged with ‘exerting subtle mental control’. Second, a number of cases have resulted in the death of the offender at the hands of the addict. Lastly, just like with real drug users, your junkie can always go to another supplier. That being said, responsible use of massage by Psi or Ki users can bring great pleasure to a partner and enhance foreplay to the point of a religious experience.
  2. The laws on mind control effects are extremely strict. Humanity as a whole also has a deep seated paranoia about such things. You can expect any perceived infringement on your part to be punished to the full extent of the law. Because of this, if you are in any doubt that something you’re doing might be illegal (right or wrong aside) or perceived as illegal, don’t do it.

Psi Tips

  1. MIND CONTROL GAMES ARE DANGEROUS. Even if your partner loves it when you get inside her head, willing mind control is a hotly debated legal minefield, far more so than the usual Domination/submission games. Even if you are entirely blameless, and your partner is willing and even begs you to control him/her while you do it, you may be charged, tried and convicted of ‘Mind Control Occasioning Rape’, a sentence that may end with you cryogenically frozen for the rest of eternity in the deepest hole the government can dig. Due to the nature of mind control, the ‘victim’ cannot give evidence at your trial since the crime of which you are accused immediately makes her testimony suspect. Do yourself a big favour and keep your thoughts to yourself.
  2. Empathy auras (the ability to project certain emotions, such as lust, love, happiness, etc.) flirt with the mind control laws but do not expressly break them. Current legal thought is that while the aura may influence a person’s judgment, they are still in control of their actions, even more so than people under the influence of alcohol or other drugs. Even so, addicting a person to you using ‘good’ emotions will get you charged with ‘exerting subtle mental control’, so use this ability sparingly with consenting adults.
  3. Telekinetic play can be fun (see telekinesis under Common Power Perversion) but vigorous activity will drain your power reserves quickly. Usually best to keep it short and sweet.

Ki Tips

  1. Be careful playing around with your partner’s chakra points unless you know exactly what you’re doing. The rewards can be great, but a mistake could be fatal.
  2. Be aware that, beyond massage, people can become truly, obsessively, addicted to sex with you. Sex with a Ki user is just that good; your ability to synergize your body and see or feel the pleasure points in others gives you an extra advantage in the bedroom. Just don’t overuse your power. Also, while you can pleasure someone until they faint, it may cause your partner distress when they wake, so again it’s best to hold back a bit.

Normal Tips

  1. You might think that mind control sounds kinky and fun but the reality can be terrifying. Unlike other Domination/submission games, you won’t be capable of using a safe word to let your partner know you want to stop. In some cases, you might not even know that what you’re doing is your idea. Playing mind control games is like playing with fire: you never know when someone will go too far. It’s best to err on the side of caution at all times, and if, despite the warnings, you still go for it, an impartial referee that knows the both of you and can restrain the Dominant partner is a must.
  2. Despite the dangers of mind control, not all Psi users want to enslave you to their will. Just because they’re Psi doesn’t mean they get off on mind control. Most abhor the practice outside of life-threatening circumstances (the law is very clear on the use of mind control in self-defense and the defense of others). Remember, Psychics can say no too, and just because you’re obsessed with them doesn’t mean that they’re using their voodoo on you. A government sanctioned psychic police officer can tell if you are being influenced by a psychic. If you suspect that you are being influenced, it’s a good idea to get yourself checked out before making wild accusations.
  3. Simple hypnosis is as different from mind control as a goldfish is from a shark. Hypnosis can’t make you do anything that you don’t want to do, though it can implant suggestions that can guide you in certain directions. Real Psychic criminals aren’t likely to hypnotize you, however; they have much more potent means at their command.

VII. Devisors & Gadgeteers

Where do they get those wonderful toys? Answer: from Gadgeteers all over the world.

General tips

  1. I know at some point, some of you are going to watch the movie ‘Weird Science’, ‘Frankenstein’ or any one of a million anime. Or perhaps you’ll be unusually ‘creative’ and figure out that you can make your perfect girl/boyfriend yourself. This is a BAD IDEA. First, take the lessons of Dr. Frankenstein to heart. Your creation will not be a slave to your will (unless you made it that way, in which case you’re in violation of several anti-mind control and sentient rights protection acts). Several scientists have committed suicide after their creations ran off with other men. After all, what’s a bigger downer than creating the perfect girlfriend who should be violently attracted to you… then he or she STILL can’t stand you. Below fully sentient beings, you have the android sex doll, nicely pliable and programmed to satisfy. If you must, stick to these and avoid unnecessary heartbreak but beware the ‘Johnny 5’ syndrome.
  2. Some of you reading this may suffer from Deidrick’s Syndrome. It is your duty to inform any partner or significant other that you have this mental illness. You may want to take measures to protect said significant others against yourself. After all, if you’re going to be hit with knockout drops, it’s best that you know what chemicals are going into your own bloodstream. Though the measures that you take, since you know of them, may not be fully effective, you might manage to slow yourself down for a few seconds and allow your partner to take appropriate action.
  3. Vibrators are perfectly functional devices as they are. Unless you are a woman personalizing your own substitute companion, DO NOT attempt to ‘improve’ the vibrator. Consider that the testing phase will involve you walking up to a female and asking if they’d like to test it for you, and you’ll see why it’s so dangerous. Also, the abundance of little boys who have asked that very same question before dropping their pants means that you’re likely to get slapped long before you get a chance to explain that you’re perfectly serious.
  4. Orgasmic/Arousal rays should only be used on consenting adults. Even though these rays are technically legal (as the victim retains their own will), the fact that you have somehow obtained such a device may be used against you to show premeditation and malice aforethought during a rape trial (whether you are guilty or not). For true mind control devices, read the Psi section.
  5. ‘It should work’ is not enough of an excuse. As always, ALL DEVICES SHOULD BE FIELD TESTED before you use them on a partner.

Normal Tips

  1. If your significant other starts ‘dricking out during sex, remain calm and try not to provoke them. Your top priorities are calling for help, restraining them until they can receive proper medical care if possible, and escape. Deidrick’s syndrome is doubly tragic because often the people sufferers hurt the most are those they are close to. DO NOT attempt to reason with a sufferer of Deidrick’s during an episode, and DO NOT listen to anything they say. Nobody will blame you for pre-emptively knocking your partner out by any means necessary.
  2. In general, beware Devises. Unless your partner can show you that it works as it should, refrain and don’t try to operate the devise yourself (Note: deviCe (deev-ICE) is used to describe any piece of equipment no matter its origin. A deviSe (dee-VAIZE) is specifically used to describe a piece of equipment created by a Devisor). If your partner is a Devisor/Gadgeteer, always ask before touching anything.
  3. ENSURE THAT YOUR PARTNER HAS FIELD TESTED ALL DEVICES THROUGHLY BEFORE YOU CONSENT TO HAVING THEM USED ON YOU. ‘It should work’ is not enough. Make sure it works exactly the way they say it does, ask for a demonstration, and, above all, treat any device that you haven’t seen in use as a deadly weapon.

VIII. Avatars

Avatars may manifest a wide variety of powers, such that it is impossible to account for every permutation that every spirit in the multiverse may gift to its host. I’m afraid there are no shortcuts to be found here, like Wizards it is best to read the whole book to find the parts that may apply to you. There is only one real tip here that sets Avatars apart.

General Tips

  1. Always be aware that an Avatar has a second being living in their heads. Whether they know it or not, subtly or obviously, that other being is influencing their world view and/or behaviour. Some of the most confident Avatars, convinced of their mental domination over the guest, can’t see how that little voice in their heads is manipulating them towards an end. But then, some can’t tell when the helpful advice comes either. In the bedroom, however, this second voice also has an opinion and, indeed, may have needs of its own. Whether a mere voyeur, an active participant, or a being that gains some sort of power from the sexual act, few spirits are indifferent to sex. Always keep the general character of the spirit in mind when it makes ‘suggestions’, and evaluate the pros and cons of every situation as you normally would. Don’t be tempted to go beyond a line that you’re not comfortable with, stand firmly on your beliefs, and remember that some spirits know reverse psychology too.

IX. Manifestors

To repeat the question: where did they get those wonderful toys? They pulled them out of thin air. Again, many Manifestors can do a lot that the other power sets can also do, particularly in the areas of telekinetics, summoning, and shapeshifting. At some point, every Manifestor capable of x, y, and z-category manifestations attempts to whistle up their perfect lover, at least as an experiment. Don’t be embarrassed. Like Shifters trying different sexual angles with different forms, this is natural. However, be careful when you experiment with different non-human forms; a great many of the permutations that exist in our imagination are surprisingly incompatible with sexual bliss. It’s worth noting that very few Manifestors can create a manifestation that has its own mind, most must be controlled at all times by the Manifestor, so some of these tricks cannot be used by most Manifestors. Even so, the basic principles still apply to less sentient constructs.

General Tips

  1. Manifestors can gain a voyeuristic streak. After all, who else can conjure up an orgy at will? One particularly common occurrence is the ‘two person orgy’, where the Manifestor and their partner make love while surrounded by rutting manifestations. The usual caveat on kinks applies: if it works and it’s not hurting anyone, run with it.

Manifestor Tips

  1. Sex with a manifestation might not be cheating, technically. That doesn’t mean your significant other will see it that way. Remember, any time you spend with your mindless automation is less time with your living, breathing, challenging, creative, sensual, intelligent partner. While in a relationship, try to abstain from such ‘intense masturbatory experiences’ and think about the feelings of your real lover.
  2. Manifesting your own contraceptives is NOT a good idea, no matter how desperate you are for a shag. Maintaining a construct requires a modicum of concentration which will flee from your head the moment you achieve orgasm, thus defeating the purpose.
  3. Manifesting a second set of hands can be a good idea as long as your partner knows what you’re doing. But just because this is true doesn’t mean that a thousand hands are better. Sex is one of those things that’s best kept uncomplicated (when you think about it, even most kinky sex isn’t that complex).
  4. Enhancing your assets with PK shells is also a bad idea. Not only might you make yourself too large in certain areas in your enthusiasm, but repeated and/or constant use may make the change permanent. Unless you’re utterly sure it’s what you want, use sparingly if at all.
  5. In the same vein as point 4, don’t manifest a pregnancy on a real person. Repeated or long-term use may suddenly make the pregnancy a reality and the results of such are unpredictable at best. Instances of fatalities in such rare cases are significantly higher than normal pregnancy, better to leave it alone.

Normal Tips

  1. Sometimes Manifestors can’t control their power when they sleep. This means that, all too often, what they’re dreaming in some way becomes a reality. Depending on the nature of the dream and the power of the Manifestor, this situation can go from anywhere between cute and cuddly to insane and psychopathic. Standard procedure for Manifestors who suffer from this affliction is to sleep by themselves inside a locked room. If your significant other chooses to do this, it is out of concern for your safety, not because he or she doesn’t want to sleep beside you. Just don’t get tempted to sneak into their rooms while they sleep; what you see means nothing, but could end your relationship nevertheless.
  2. If a Manifestor suggests conjuring up a third partner or more, try not to freak out. If you’re not comfortable with the idea of multiple sex partners, just be honest and say so. It may be hard, depending on the strength of the Manifestor, but remember that a manifestation is just another sex toy like a blow up doll. It doesn’t have feelings or needs of its own.

X. Common Power Perversions

The following section describes the ramifications of certain common powers that can be shared among a wide range of abnormally empowered beings.

Catpeople

Feline anthropoids are an amazingly common mutation. There is little to tell about them, since in most ways they are just like regular boys and girls. A few things to keep in mind, though. For one, don’t stroke a catperson the wrong way, go with the fur. Also, catpeople have an additional erogenous zone behind the ears, a good scratch there can send them into paroxysms of pleasure comparable to a woman’s ‘surface orgasm’. Lastly, catnip might seem like a good idea, but use in moderation and don’t expect to get sex for it. Usually they get too bombed out to care about anything else.

Claws

Claws may provide the thrill of danger to some partners. Light brushes with these over skin can also be highly erotic, thrilling nerve endings as long as the touch is delicate. Scratches can be okay, depending on the partner, but deep scratches are a big no-no unless your partner is a masochist. Even then, remember that your claws are made to kill things. During orgasm you may curl and grip your partner a bit too hard, causing a fatality. It’s best to keep your hands in something soft and expendable, such as a pillow.

Canids

Dog people tend to be very affectionate, loyal, and protective lovers. Don’t double-cross them, and be aware of their sense of smell; they are easily offended by rank odors and may wish to stick their noses into awkward places to get your scent. Don’t panic, it’s all part and parcel of being half canine. Wolf people tend to be the same, but more aggressive. Beware the cuckold wolf person; it’s a great way to get your throat torn out.

Exuders

An Exuder is a person who exudes some form of substance from their skin. This can be anything from slime or grease to poison or acid. This can range in usefulness depending on circumstances. A benign, slippery, water-based slime can be quite fun in the bathroom, but good luck getting a date in the first place. On the other end, poison and acid Exuders might never know the touch of another living creature for as long as they live. Fortunately, help is at hand. Again, there are full body condoms created specifically to contain and siphon away harmful substances. Before you even try it, however, it’s a good idea to learn standard biohazard procedures and always, ALWAYS, check the suit carefully for tears beforehand.

Fangs

The ‘SuperHickey’ is bad, fanged hickies are worse. If you have a vampire-like fetish for the things, take some time to learn where the major arteries are in the body so you know where not to bite and kill your partner. Also, like all wounds, unless the victim is under the influence of some drug or mind control, it will hurt. Also the bite won’t be clean and precise: it will often be ragged and torn both by the nature of the weapon and the struggles of the victim. (Even if the partner is willing, it takes iron willpower not to struggle when a predator bites you.) Thus it won’t heal properly and will most likely scar. In the end, it’s best to keep fang play down to light brushes to tease and enhance foreplay with an element of danger. Kissing with fangs is an artform. You need to keep your jaw open more than usually necessary, as well as your lips, to avoid accidentally biting, particularly by reflex. Fangs can also restrict the play of your partner’s tongue; warn them to resist the urge to test how sharp your fangs are. They’re fangs, they’re VERY sharp, and messing with them is a good way to cut or spear your tongue and ruin an evening. The worst occurrence, however, is when partners ‘lock fangs’. Occasionally, during a deep, passionate kiss, the fang of one partner, being slightly curved, will find its way behind the lower jaw of the other partner while the other fang will slip behind the partner’s fangs. This is particularly embarrassing because you’re probably going to need help to extricate yourselves without cutting each other. If you ever find yourself in a fanglock, remember above all to keep calm and do NOT try to pull directly back. Instead, press forward into your lover’s face (this may hurt but not as much as ripping open your lips and breaking your jaw) and then push in the direction away from where your fangs are pointing. Tilt your head slightly in different directions to get the right angle to guide the fangs out of your partner’s mouth. Also, remember to breathe through your nose.

Flyers

The application for this power is obvious. Before you attempt to become a member of the ‘naked mile high club’ (it should be noted that there is NO practical evidence that supports the theory that the change in pressure in the atmosphere has a positive effect on orgasm), you should know that the FAA frowns heavily on such behaviours. Flying lovers have been known to cause airplanes to crash; the surprise alone can distract pilots at an inopportune moment. If you must indulge, pick a spot well outside any flight paths and keep some sort of ‘spotter’ (perhaps a flying robot of some sort or ground radar connection) on the lookout for incoming aircraft. Be aware, however, that you are also opening yourselves to viewing by any of the general public with binoculars or a telescope, and may be in infringement of indecency laws. Certain police forces have been known to dispatch fighter jets to escort flying lovers back to the airport where they can be charged for the offence.

Possession

As they say, Possession is 9/10ths of mind control law. In the end, the answer is NO. Don’t do it. Don’t even think about it. If any power is likely to get you locked up in a pit faster than you can say ‘yes’, it’s this. Stay away for your own sake.

Shellheads

Some of the abnormally empowered have a permanent ‘shell’ of inert material encasing their skin, or their entire body may be composed of some unusual substance. These people are affectionately known as Shellheads in honour of the comic book legend Iron Man. Unlike Iron Man, however, real Shellheads don’t get to take their armour off. This can range from mildly inconvenient, if they can still feel through their armoured skin, to catastrophic for one whose epidermis is entirely devoid of all feeling. Fortunately there are some things that can be done. Unfortunately, all of these things require heavy equipment. A pleasant massage can be achieved using a range of specialized jackhammers, usually mounted on robotic tables. I’m assured by several Shellheads that one does get used to the noise eventually, and learns to relax. Beyond that, a significant other’s best course of action is to show their Shellhead tender loving care over sexual stimulus. Indeed, many Shellheads are entirely incapable of sexual relations beyond participation in foreplay (they can never benefit themselves from foreplay, however). Grooming is a difficult job for a Shellhead, or anyone, so help in this field is usually greatly appreciated. Better by far, however, is care and attention shown to their palate. To make up for their lack of sensation, Shellheads tend to enjoy their food to the fullest. If your Shellhead S.O. still has a human anatomy underneath, cooking courses are recommended. If, however, he or she requires heavy minerals to replenish, a course in geology and/or metallurgy and some experimentation with different alloys is the way to go.

Speedsters

Dating and loving a speedster is a tricky business. They have a tendency to jump ahead of everyone else, often based on suppositions and assumptions. This is literally because they have to think faster than everyone else, which in turn can make them quite witty in social interaction. The problem is that they seem, to normal eyes, to collapse into depression for no apparent reason. What takes normal people hours or days of browbeating themselves over to accomplish can take a speedster several seconds. If you date a Speedster, be prepared for a rollercoaster ride in more ways than one. In the bedroom, friction is a Speedster’s bane (just like it is everywhere else). In their excitement they may also climax long before they’ve even started to rev their partner’s engine, or even damage them in their haste. The important thing for a Speedster to do in the act of love is to concentrate on timing over speed to slow themselves down; a metronome is an invaluable reminder of the passing of time, and will help a Speedster concentrate on rhythm. In addition, you can purchase speedster-grade lubricants and ‘slippery’ bedclothes that significantly reduce wear and tear on both lovers and furniture. A similar ‘slippery’ body condom is also available for a Speedster’s partner (it’s too dangerous for a Speedster to wear, considering the speeds at which they move, and their reliance on their sense of balance not to run into things). Non-flammable furniture may also be a good idea, particularly on dry days.

Telekinesis

Much of what was said about spacial Warpers and Manifestors holds true here, only more so. Better than Warpers, telekinetic force can be shaped to your whim at a distance. Remember first and foremost to make sure your advances are wanted before you indulge. Also, it is very hard to precisely judge measurements over distances, particularly out of your line of sight (if you are capable of such things). It’s a good idea to have a safe word and a nonverbal cue (in case the mouth is occupied) so that your partner can let you know when you’re hurting rather than helping. Otherwise, telekinetic sex toys and limbs are an obvious ploy. But be sure that your partner likes pinching before you try it. If your partner is into bondage, telekinetic bonds are an excellent alternative to physical bonds, since if you are rendered unconscious for some reason the bonds will disappear, leaving your lover free, and you can dispel the bonds at a moment’s notice if they start to freak out. Just remember, the usual bondage rules still apply.

Tentacles

Much maligned, the tentacle has such myriad uses in sexual encounters that it is impossible for one to list them all. However, you can always count on an experienced tentacle user to find just the right spot to drive you wild as long as you’re not squeamish about such things. Prehensile hair is another matter, however. Supremely adapted for light feathering and stroking, it is vulnerable to snarling and matting when encountering normal bodily fluids, not to mention you get all that stuff in your hair. Also, said hair often breaks with rough treatment, and you’re always exposing yourself to having your hair grasped and torn away by an overeager lover, which hurts a lot. Try to keep the hair out of the way after foreplay, when things start to get sweaty.

XI. Wardrobe

Capes

Since the Incredibles aired, the cape has gotten a bad reputation in superheroic circles. Yes, the cape may get caught in things and give too much drag at high speeds. This is why most cape-wearers build quick releases of varying complexity into the clasp. There are a great many gadgets that can be built into a cape, far too many to be listed here, so its usefulness is undisputed.

Capes are also the second most recognisable superheroic garment and a close second on the list for fetishists, just behind the spandex suit. The best thing about a cape is sharing it with a partner, preferably while both parties are in a state of nakedness. Used in this way it acts much like an easily portable blanket.

Girdles

Aside from vanity, girdles are a favourite of superheroines just because they keep everything in while leaving the arms and shoulders free. This also allows for some exposure of skin in supersuits with a wide V-neck without sacrificing protection for the torso. Girdles are also much harder to tear away, unlike brassieres, and are made of stiffer materials.

What you do have to be careful of is busted and broken strings. For some Exemplars, just the force that they can exert with their abs combined with the tightness of the girdle will cause its binding to break during great physical effort. Girdles with straps are generally preferable for this reason to those with laces. However, for those with a particular costume in mind, much stronger laces are available for an exorbitant price.

Kilts

Some of you boys with Scots ancestry may like this idea. Traditionalists or not, despite Captain Scotland, the world at large is too set in its ways to accept a superhero in a skirt. Also be aware that, while you might think you’re being all patriotic or harking back to your ancestry, most Scots will consider you a fake unless you go without underwear like Captain Scotland. This fact is attributable to the deaths of no less than six Captain Scotlands over the last fifty years; the only surprising thing is that there haven’t been more. On the other hand, the Bagpipe Brigadier, a well known Scottish assassin, is also said to ‘go commando’ and he has survived for the last twenty years, so maybe there’s a trick he’s not sharing as yet.

Miniskirts

Girls, only if you want to flash your knickers at everyone in the world and be thought of as a superslut. Despite the fashion craze of the 60’s and 70’s, most superheroines die of shame when subjected to photographs of themselves from the era. A few modern designs incorporate the miniskirt into a costume with a full or half body supersuit. Not bad for teenagers but tragic on older women. Oh, and guys… just no, ok?

On top of that, Miniskirts of any material tend to be relatively weak structurally and are vulnerable to snaring like all skirts and capes.

Powered Armour

Eminently practical save for one purpose: sex. Or is it? In response to high demand, an anonymous Gadgeteer offers, via a shell company, the Penetrator 1600, a unisex exoskeletal frame with a variety of hardpoints that can mount a selection of interesting attachments as well as gadgets and devises. Composed of skimpy ultra light carbon fibre, the Penetrator is well suited to its primary function while being completely useless in a combat situation. The extra strength the exoskeleton provides is minimal, and the suit uses an external battery that you have to plug into the back of the gadget via an extra-long shielded cable. A HUD and ‘smart’ computer system can give you an analysis of your lover, calculate the best techniques and positions for maximum pleasure, and even guide your actions in a limited way via a ‘reflex response control’ system.

Just be warned, if your significant other is a Gadgeteer, they may be more interested in the suit than they are in you.

Robes

Why wear a skirt and a cape when you can wear a garment that combines the problems and benefits of both? A favourite of both Wizards and cultists, the robe is the traditional attire of those who work with mystical forces. This is usually because, during a ritual, you never know when you all might need to be skyclad; and thus you can easily be naked underneath the robe and discard it as necessary. This is also why robes are often ‘one size fits all’ affairs; nobody wants to be thinking about where they’re hurling their robe when what they should be concentrating on is the ritual at hand.

In addition to the problems with skirts and capes, robes often have long, pointy bits or dangling strips of cloth that exacerbate the problems with capes yet don’t provide anything useful to compensate. In general, unless they’re specifically a weapon that you can use against your enemies, leave the embellishments for your ceremonial gear.

Shorts

If you’re a guy, generally steer clear. A costume has two purposes, practicality combined with a sense of theatricality. Shorts are ok for casual wear, but it’s hard to take a superhero wearing shorts seriously. Girls who want to show off a bit of leg love shorts of lengths from anywhere between zero and one inch long. This allows for maximum protection for the groin while greatly increasing their… charm. Often worn in conjunction with high leather stripper boots for maximum protection; just remember that you’re going to look like a skank. Otherwise fairly practical.

Skirts

Like capes, Skirts can make up for their tendency to snare on the environment by providing concealability and added protection. The skirt has both hindered and saved many a superheroine over the years, enough so that these factors cancel each other out. It is recommended, however, that you wear something underneath the skirt to protect your legs and groin from obvious attack. In general, it is accepted that the skirt is more a costume for infiltration rather than combat.

Spandex Supersuit

Ok, ok, all of you who’ve done costume theory class know that skin-tight, elastic, bodysuits aren’t necessarily made of spandex. However, the advent of high strength cloth gadgetry has made this the standard uniform of the superhero, mainly due to ease of concealment underneath normal clothing. The iconic status of the garment isn’t the only reason that the spandex suit is the best selling superhero fetish item available from all good adult supply stores. The number of things you can do with it, such as cutting, tearing, or peeling it off, may also fuel the sensual fire. Naturally, it doesn’t help matters when this happens in the heat of battle; supervillains are often perverted enough that they don’t need help imagining horrible things to do to your body.

First, and most importantly, most supersuits come with spare patches for small holes and tears that will automatically bond with a surface of similar material. Most supers take some of these in their usual first aid pouches and may have boxes of spares back at home base. A better option that most people aren’t aware of as yet is the self-healing memory cloth that will heal tears all on its own and merely requires ‘nourishment’ in the form of a small block of raw materials. This option may be more expensive but pays for itself time and time again, particularly since larger holes can’t really be patched.

Fortunately, tearing strikes at the crotch are fairly rare in battle; and when they do occur the last thing you’re going to be worried about is flashing everyone in public. Unfortunately, women have a different issue. Strikes to the chest are very common, particularly with sharp implements. Tearing attacks are also common from villains who merely wish to see their opponent humiliated in public. For this reason, an armoured brassiere or girdle either underneath or over the top of the supersuit is highly recommended. Several models are collapsible, though activating them can ruin any normal brassiere that you happen to be wearing at the time.

Last but not least, there is a class of device specifically created with the supersuit and lethal embarrassment for the wearer in mind. So-called ‘crawler’ devices generally look like flat centipede constructs that try to slip down the neck or up the hems of a supersuit and may cause severe discomfort to the wearer in any number of fiendish ways. The only way to get rid of them is to forcibly remove the suit, generally leaving the wearer naked. For this reason, supersuits must be sealed around the neck, sleeves and ankles (assuming they don’t come with full head masks, gloves and booties) to be effective. Even so, several versions of crawlers can make their own holes, so some of the latest supersuits have anti-intrusion countermeasures. Finally, versions of the crawler have been made with a more pleasant goal in mind for the keen fetishist or the severely perverted villain.

Symbiotes

It was only a matter of time until someone invented symbiotic clothing. These living entities generally look like ordinary clothes, only they feed off the upper dermal layer, scavenging dead skin, hair, sweat and microbiologicals for nutrients. The upside is that these symbiotes can have powers and abilities of their own, such as turning into armour, self-healing, or changing shape and colour based on the situation. The downside occurs if a mistake is made in their design or manufacture and the symbiote becomes a parasite and/or suddenly becomes sentient. Regular symbiotic clothing is generally happy having a host; if it’s intelligent at all, it will only be of a level similar to a dog or cat. Being host to a sentient symbiote is like being an Avatar, you’ll have a whole other being hanging around that needs more out of life than simple survival. Parasites, as the name says, will eventually suck you dry of something, be it bodily fluids, mental energy, or whatever. Sentient parasites are a real danger to the host and will require extreme measures to remove and destroy. Be careful with these things and make sure that your particular garment has been thoroughly tested before you wear it.

Trenchcoat

Yet another item that combines the problems with skirts and capes while retaining their benefits. On the other hand, trenchcoats are nowhere near as annoying as capes, since they leave your arms free and unhindered at all times. Also, when they’re done up, you could be wearing anything underneath…or not as the case may be.

Trousers

Eminently practical for both sexes, trousers lose out by being a bit too plain and ordinary for the superbeing about town. On the other side of the coin, many mutants prefer regular clothes to emphasize that they’re just as human as everyone else, making a political statement. Otherwise, trousers tend to be boring unless you have access to tentacles. Then they can be quite fun.

Upper Bodywear

From shirts to sweaters, there’s more stuff that you can wear on the upper half on your body than I have pages left in this book to describe them all individually. Like trousers and shorts, plain old shirts tend to be too ordinary for the average superbeing.

XII. Gross Structural Dystrophy (GSD)

Living with GSD is hard both for the sufferers and their loved ones. There are no hard and fast rules to pleasing a lover who has GSD; each one of them is as physiologically different as all humans are psychologically. Then, on top of that, they’re human too. Their erogenous zones may not be in the logical places. More than any other lover, you need to work, cooperate and experiment to find out what works for them. Extensive study into Mutant Biology may be essential, as GSD Marital Counseling is a fringe area full of hacks and fakes who know nothing about the topic. Their solutions are often wild guesswork, doing more harm than good. That being said, here are some things you might want to try in general to minimize the effect of GSD on your love life.

Fur

Quite beneficial in sex, the rubbing of fur against skin can be highly sensual and erotic. If you have fur, however, it is vital to keep yourself clean. Shower often, particularly after sex, or you will stink to high heaven.

Slime People

Few cases of GSD are harder to live with than this, particularly for a lover. The first obstacle you face is that most people don’t like the feel of slime when they touch it. However, getting over this problem has its rewards: there’s really nothing that you can compare to sex with a slime person. Bathing in jelly doesn’t cover it, but can be good training. The problem a normal lover faces when they encounter a slime lover is usually where to stick what, why, and how. Fortunately, the answer is ‘wherever convenient’. Slime people’s anatomy usually reacts to sexual stimulus, their whole body can be like a clitoris/penis as long as they are in the mood - which is the trick. If they’re not in the mood, their bodies won’t interpret the signals the way you want, and it’ll just feel like any other touch. Romance is vital to a relationship with a slime person.

It’s also recommended that you avoid sex in high places if one of you is a slime person. Sex between normal people on rooftops results in several fatalities every year, the resultant loss of friction when making out with a slime person makes this eventuality much more likely. Though falls from any height aren’t generally as big a problem for slime people, the hydroshock from the impact channeled through the slime body can be particularly nasty for a normal lover.

Sex between slime people is rare and can often result in a commingling of the two bodies. While not life threatening, this can be highly confusing and inconvenient, as the two slime people must separate in a painfully slow process that can take several days.

Tails

Fact of life: tails get trod on. The thing that makes this worse for the humanoid mutant is that tails are extremely sensitive. In an erotic situation, this can make a tail good for manipulation, stroking or even masturbation. Just don’t get rough with it, be gentle.

Wings

Yes, everyone loves the romantic idea of flying. They’ve obviously never thought about what it’s like to lay down on their backs with two very large and bulky extra limbs sticking out of it. The biggest thing when having sex with a winged humanoid: don’t touch the wings. Winged humanoids are very sensitive about their wings and their wings, in return, are very sensitive. Damage to the membrane or feathers can adversely affect their flight capability. Even if the wings are merely vestigial, these instincts are often ingrained into the mutant’s subconscious. If you’re looking for a good grip, stick to the shoulders or hips.

XIII. Gender Transposed Mutants (GTM)

One of the little-talked-about possible side effects of mutating is the sudden change of a person from one gender to another. Quite likely, these people are scattered across campus, living among us as the gender as which they appear. Be aware that these ‘Changelings’ are going through a highly traumatic and frightening experience alongside shifts in hormones and brain chemistry. On top of that, they are surrounded by people who they KNOW simply will not understand them.

Norms despise GTMs for complicating their narrow world views. Mutants aren’t much better with the topic, since GTMs add an extra level of chaos on top of their already chaotic world. GSD sufferers tend to envy GTMs for their ability to hide among the normal-looking people and lead a relatively normal life. For this reason, a great many GTMs suffer in silence, feeling abandoned by those who cannot see beyond their own pain.

The key to dealing with Changelings is to realize that what any of us were in the past doesn’t matter, what we are NOW is all that matters.

Of course, the situation isn’t so simple for those who are intersexed. Very rarely, a mutant may gain the primary, secondary and tertiary sexual characteristics of the opposite sex while retaining their original gender to varying degrees of functionality. On the opposite end of the scale, a mutant may also lose some or all of their sexual characteristics.

Like GSD sufferers, hermaphrodites must face the monumental fear and ignorance of the average human or mutant. On top of that they face the practical challenges of learning to deal with both masculine and feminine issues as well as maintaining their hormonal balance. While many hermaphrodites are androgynous, most others are female in appearance due to the growth of breasts. Unless you can handle adversity, I highly recommend dressing as the gender you can best pass yourself off as. As long as people can subconsciously categorize you in some way, you’ll cut down the harassment that you’ll receive. One tip I can give to those hermaphrodites that must wear a dress, however, from a reliable source is white male briefs. With an elastic hem, white briefs can give you some extra room while stretching enough for your hips. Some women even prefer briefs over panties for comfort.

The benefit of hermaphroditism is, of course, sex. I’m told that experiencing both sides of the sexual equation at the same time borders on the religious. Of course, the difficulty is in finding an open-minded bisexual, since logistical problems make hermaphrodite-on-hermaphrodite sex extremely difficult. However, I hear that the default h/h sexual position is a variation on the ‘scissor sisters’ technique for lesbian relations.

MtF (Male to Female) GTMs are perhaps hit the hardest psychologically. A great deal of early cultural training for boys involves bolstering their sense of pride. Added to this is the cultural phenomenon (slowly shifting, but ever so slowly) of the value placed in having male children over female children. Taken together, many young men’s sense of self-worth is tied to their masculinity, and it may take some intense psychological therapy for an MtF GTM to come to terms with what they see as their diminishment. On top of this, they face the biological pressure of being able to bear children suddenly thrust upon them. In general, the MtF GTM loses all sense of identity at the same time as they gain whole new responsibilities.

The MtF GTM’s troubles can be greatly alleviated by a supportive family unit. Unfortunately, dysfunction inside the family after the MtF change is 40% more likely than with those who undergo GSD, even going so far as to disown the child. Compare to the 20% that hermaphrodites face (though it should be said that hermaphrodite metamorphoses are far rarer). MtF GTMs are also more likely to be subject to sexual harassment and abuse including, perversely, rape. Perpetrators are likely to include former friends and family members.

My advice to all MtF GTMs is to seek professional help. More than anything else, you need people who you can talk and relate to as well as the support of friends. The form you inhabit is far less important than what is inside, take advantage of the support services that are available and do not become content to suffer quietly.

By contrast, FtM (female to male) GTMs have it easier (though by no means easy). This is in part due to the fact that there is already a ‘normal’ medical condition where apparently female children become men with the onset of puberty, so there is a precedent (people just LOVE precedents that can be easily explained and, thus, make them feel more ‘normal’). Another reason is the cultural value of male children; the logic is similar to the clichéd consolation of the father of the bride: you’re not losing a daughter, you’re gaining a son. Simply put, women don’t feel as threatened in general by FtMs as men do by MtFs. That being said, FtMs can still expect to be the subject of scorn by women with an inordinate hatred of men. The worst things that FtMs have to cope with are the differing social mores and standards of behaviour between the sexes. Surprisingly, however, former women often make better men than quite a few born males.

The key to surviving as a GTM is learning to accept yourself as you are and be yourself, rather than allow others to impose their image of you. Confidence building exercises such as self defence classes are both positive and practical exercises to build your sense of self. Finally, be wary of those who would use this vulnerable period of your life to manipulate you. Stick to those who prove themselves trustworthy with no thought of reward or gain.